What were you doing 2 years ago today?

Two years ago today, I was laying in my hospital bed, eating a double order of pancakes and bacon and trying to grow the Twinsies just a little more. Food was about the only thing that entertained me in the hospital. Not that I ate all the time or anything! In fact, I wasn't eating enough, thus the 50 million Ensures they made me drink.

Food was one of the few constants of my day. I knew I'd have the babies monitored twice a day. That was a given. But food was something I had control over. And I had very little control back then. Toward the last few weeks of my pregnancy, they finally realized that I had eaten every item on the menu about 10 times and took pity on me. I wish they had realized it sooner, because they let me special order from the cafeteria! I could have things like chicken fajita burritos and pita pocket sandwiches. It was fantastic!

The food on the normal patient menu wasn't awful, it was simply unimaginative. To make it things interesting, I had been mixing things up. I asked for substitutions, had chocolate milk instead of regular, would beg for grilled onions instead of the raw ones they put on the cheeseburger. I learned I had to ask for what I wanted, and sometimes, even fight for something different.

When I unpacked my classroom a few days ago, I found my copy of the menu from Huntington Hospital. I opened it briefly. Memories came rushing back; I could actually taste some of the things I had ordered back then. It was very disconcerting. But it also brought back the memories of the lovely people I spoke with when I ordered my food. I remember a man by the name of Ren who was not only the recorded voice when you called in, but actually took orders. He had a great voice! There was also another woman, whose name I now forget, who was always sick! She would stay on the phone with me, teaching me how to work the menu and giving me an outside person to talk to about things completely unrelated to food. Those moments gave me a break from my hours in that hospital bed where I counted ceiling tiles, waited for another contraction, and learned my baby girl was not growing.

Two years ago, we had had our last ultrasound and discovered that Gracie had not grown in the two weeks since our last ultrasound. I remember that Dr. Bruce was concerned that Gracie had actually lost an ounce while Lukie had gained a pound. Dr. Hartford had discovered that my body was preparing to go into labor and I was ready to climb the walls from waiting.

Two years ago, I was excited that it was September. Not August. Not July. Not June. I had made it to September and my babies were going to be okay. I was anxious and tired, getting crankier by the moment. Looking back now, I feel very badly for my nurses. I don't think I was very pleasant to be around.

Two years ago, I was two days from welcoming Gracie and Luke into the world and I did not even know it. Do you remember what you were doing two years ago?

I suspect not, but then again, I don't remember 2 days ago.

It's a darn good thing I have this blog!

Celebrating our Second Un-Birthday

2 years ago today, I was 23 weeks and 4 days pregnant with Gracie and Luke.

2 years ago today, I was having contractions (not the Braxton Hicks kind).

2 years ago today, I had an appointment with Dr. Hartford and he made me sit for 20 minutes having my contractions monitored. The machine did not register any of the contractions I felt.

2 years ago today, Daddy drove me home. I was scared and worried and waiting for the results of a test that would supposedly tell us whether I would go into labor in the next 2 weeks.

2 years ago today, I lay on the couch and the contractions did not stop. They got stronger and started to get closer together.

2 years ago today, the nurse called to tell me that my fetal fibronectin test came back positive. I panicked.

2 years ago today, when the contractions started to feel like the worst cramps of my life, Dr. Hartford had Daddy drive me to Huntington Memorial so that the nurses in Labor and Delivery could monitor my contractions.

2 years ago today, Dr. Hartford discovered that my body was in preterm labor. He was gruff and pessimistic and he scared the crap out of me.

2 years ago today, Dr. Hartford fought to stop my contractions and keep Gracie and Luke from being born. He was successful, kind of.

2 years ago today began a battle that would continue for 12 weeks and 2 days. On our side, Dr. Hartford, the best OBGYN in the universe (God sent me to him), magnesium sulfate (the medicine that kept my uterus from contracting), the Perinatal High Risk nurses who monitored me, held my hand, made me laugh, and held me when I cried.

2 years ago today could have been Gracie and Luke's birthday. But because we had Dr. Hartford and his team on our side, I can happily say that today is Gracie and Luke's UnBirthday.

Dr. Hartford,
Not a day goes by that I don't look at Gracie and Luke and think of you. You were pessimistic and helped me keep focused on my goal: growing my babies. You were exactly what I needed. My very own kick in the butt. You started out as my doctor, but by the end of the summer of 2007, you became my friend. You sat and talked with me about mundane things. You explained all of the technical stuff that was going on. You treated me like a person and not just a patient. We will be forever grateful to you for fighting for us.
Happy UnBirthday to you, too!

Nutty Auntie Ten Ten

I was deleting emails from my inbox and came across an email Auntie Ten Ten sent me a few weeks ago. She's pregnant right now, so it explains some of her nuttiness. Here's what she wrote:

When I can't sleep I usually think of numbers. So last night I was lying in bed waiting to go to sleep and I thought of this.

If you add up the ages of the youngest grandchildren you'll get Hailey's age (sorry Nate just touched the Italic button)! Of course, this only works if you count the twins once. And since they share the same birthday I guess it all works out.

Bianca - 5
Brandon - 3
Nathan - 2
Gracie & Luke - 1
= Hailey - 11

Oh, that nutty Auntie Ten Ten! What will she come up with next! Hey! I wonder if this means the baby is trying to do math? Maybe it will be a Super Mathy Genius!

One year ago tonight...

I went to bed for the last time being pregnant. Little did I know that in just a few hours, I would wake up early and Dr. Hartford would say to me, "Whatcha doing tonight at about 7:30 pm?"

September 4th was a Tuesday and there was precious little on TV. Well, except baseball. Ed made me watch a Cubs game with him.

Who knew that in just 22 long short hours, Gracie and Luke would be born?

Tonight's the Night!

Only one person voted for before September 6th as the day the babies would be born. How intuitive and brilliant she is (Good job, Martha!). Tonight at 7:30 we will be going in for the c-section and Hermie and Iggy will be here.

Oddly enough, I am very calm. I thought I'd be all crazed, but I'm just tired and relieved.

Watch the blog in the coming days for a birth announcement and pictures of the Twinsies!

Naked Belly!

For the past 12 weeks, I have had a monitoring device strapped around my belly. The TOCO monitor is designed to sense changes in the uterus. It can tell whether or not I am having a contraction. Some days, it does a better job than others depending on whether it has been placed correctly on my belly. In the beginning, it wasn't that bad to have it strapped on, but as the babies grew, the pressure of the TOCO became more and more uncomfortable. I had to wear it 24 hours a day (well, except when I was in the shower). The nurses and I started to joke that Hermie would have a TOCO imprint on her forehead when she was born.

Today, Dr. Hartford changed the orders concerning my TOCO monitoring. The TOCO was meant to tell the nurses and Dr. Hartford if I was contracting too much so that they could take actions to stop my labor. Now that we are only a few days away from Hermie and Iggy being born, I no longer need to wear it every hour of every day. I only need to wear the TOCO monitor when I am having an NST (non-stress test) and the babies' heart rates are being recorded. I officially have a NAKED BELLY! For the first time in 12 weeks, I can put my hands on my tummy and feel both Iggy and Hermie move. No more strap in the way. No more TOCO in the way. No more irritated skin under the TOCO. Just my naked belly and little babies moving under my skin.

I feel so free!

The latest update, by the way, is that the babies will be born by the end of the week. Dr. Hartford says it is time and is hoping to have his nurse schedule the surgery for Thursday or Friday. Woo hoo! (Eddie is excited because the babies will be here for the official beginning of football season. The Bears play on Sunday.)

We're almost there!

Months Ending in "BER"

We've already established that I'm a planner. I like to know when things are happening. I like to know when I am supposed to be somewhere. I like to be early for family events and work activities.

My due date, October 4th, was just a date. I'd read lots of books and articles that said most people did not give birth on their due dates and that I shouldn't count on it. I wasn't locked into the 4th, but in my head, I was going to give birth in October. October was an exciting month. If I gave birth in October, then my Mom would have grandchildren with birthdays in July, August, September, October, and November. I thought it was kind of cool.

When we entered the hospital in June, the dates of the Twinsies' birth became rather murky. I did not know if I was going to have them that moment or what would happen. As we passed into July, the date they would be born left my head. My job was just to grow babies. I focused on getting through each day. I tried not to let runs of contractions scare me. I never thought about the end of my pregnancy.

Then came the day I hit 34 weeks. We reached 34 weeks on August 23rd. Mentally, my job changed. I knew that the babies had hit a major milestone. According to my twins book and lots of websites, the Twinsies had completed the majority of their developing. Now, it was up to them to gain weight and finish their final development. If they were born now, very few of the scary things the neonatologist had told me about would affect them (things like brain hemorrhages, blindness, immature lungs, etc.).

Week 34 made me start to realize that we might actually make it to September. September 6th specifically. September 6th is, of course, the ultimate goal: 36 weeks. If the Twinsies are born then, there is a very good chance that they won't spend any time in the NICU; they may actually go to the regular nursery and be able to visit me in my hospital room instead of me visiting them.

A major shift occurred in my way of thinking. I was no longer just growing babies. Oh, no! I was beginning a countdown. Countdowns, I have since learned, are an entirely different animal from passing the time. Passing the time goes quickly because you don't know where the end is. You can go from day to day and not keep track of Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday. You can just watch Forrest Gump or A Few Good Men for the 7th time and it doesn't really matter. But when a countdown commences, you start noticing things. For example, you start recognizing the same litigants on Judge Judy and The Peoples' Court. The clock becomes a greater focus. You pay much more attention to the date and correct people very quickly if they make a mistake. I, for example, took my calendar off the wall and started a countdown to September 6th. I actually worked backward from the 6th to wrote numbers for the countdown. Every person who walked into the room was reminded of the number of days I had left. In fact, every person who called me was also reminded.

Ick! Countdowns are awful. The sad part is that I did not realize I had subjected myself to the negative consequences of a countdown until it was too late. I specifically remember having 10 days left until September 6th and wondering if I was ever going to make it to single digit numbers. This counting down thing is torture!

When September 6th fell through as the day for the Twinsies to be born, a new obsession was born: I refused to let myself go into labor in August. I was determined to make it to September. I even told one of the nurses: "I will not give birth in a month that does not end in "BER." On Tuesday, August 28th, I had a lot of contractions. All day long, my eyes were on the contraction monitor and my tummy was sore! I told Dr. Hartford about my contractions the next morning and he decided to do a pelvic exam to see how we had progressed. He actually asked me when the last time was that we had done an exam. He seemed a bit surprised that it was back in June. When he checked me, he announced that I was 80 - 90% effaced. "Where is your husband?" he asked me. "He's close by, right?"

Aaaah! All of a sudden, my countdown was changed again. Dr. Hartford made it seem like we would be going into labor in the next few days. When I called Eddie and told him he needed to stay within 30 minutes of the hospital, he went into shock. All of a sudden, the babies were coming NOW and he wasn't ready for them. He told me later that day that he sat staring at a wall for hours trying to figure out if we were ready for babies to come. To this day, he is still in shock.

Every day following Dr. Hartford's exam slowed to a crawl. It was August and it was much earlier than my countdown had allowed. Friday, as a consequence, was torture for me. It was the last day of August. The babies were especially active that day and were making my uterus crazy! Iggy had the hiccups 6 times that day and all of the activity made me tired and cranky. I watched the clock like a child waiting for school to let out. If I could only make it 10 more hours...6 more hours...2 more hours. When the clock finally passed midnight, it was an enormous relief. We made it past August and into September. Yay!

It may seem silly, my need to make it to September. But when you've been in the hospital for almost 12 weeks, you focus on strange things. Here are some other things I have been focused on:

• The hair on my arms used to be blond because I drove with my sunroof open. Now it has reverted to my actual hair color and the little dark brown/black hairs are making me feel ugly.
• I haven't had a hair cut in almost 6 weeks. It has started to look rather wild. I don't do anything with it other than wash it and brush it. Sometimes, my bed hair makes me look like a crazy person. Lately, I have been getting up several times a day to wet it down and brush it so that the curls are slightly tamed.
• I check my email at least 20 times a day. Heaven forbid some one's message waits longer than 5 minutes for a response.
• I will not allow any trash to accumulate in any proximity to me. I will get up and waddle around my hospital room, collecting napkins, straw papers, etc and throwing them away. I almost drove Eddie crazy the other day, getting up and cleaning up after him. I just can't handle the idea that trash is around me. It needs to be in the trash can. Related to the trash obsession is the breakfast/lunch/dinner tray obsession. My trays cannot be allowed to stay on my table for more than 20 minutes before I start getting antsy.

As of today, we have begun what I hope is the last week of my pregnancy. We are 4 days from September 6th and I have decided to pin down Dr. Hartford to a date when he comes to see me on Tuesday. I want a plan. I need a plan. The murkiness is really bugging me (and pretty much everyone around me). The nurses say I should cry. They think that will work with him. Dr. Hartford is stronger than that. He won't be swayed by tears. A bribe might work though. He loves Eddie's pecan pie. I wonder if Eddie can bake from his wheelchair?

Pregnancy as a Life Lesson in Lack of Control

This entire pregnancy has been a huge life lesson for me. I've never been a complete control freak, but I like being organized and having things prepared. When Eddie and I discovered that I was pregnant, it was a huge blessing. It was also 8 months earlier than we had planned. This was lesson number 1 in you can't control everything. The plan had been that we would hopefully conceive in August or September and the baby would be born at the end of the school year. Hopefully, I wouldn't have to miss any work time. Instead, the baby was due in October and I was looking at missing 6-8 weeks of school.

Oh, well. I decided I could live with it! Babies are totally worth giving up time in my classroom and it was just one baby. Eddie and I could totally swing one baby. So, ha! It was totally doable.

Then, 2 weeks later, we were told that we were expecting twins! Twins! That threw me for a loop. One baby I could figure out, but 2 babies! At one time! Huh?! I started getting a little anxious. In fact, I developed a twitch under my left eye. This was a little more stressful. I made an appointment with the human resources department so that I could start planning for missing work and having 2 babies. Not to mention, that Dr. Hartford had let drop that I would need to go on bed rest at 25 weeks (i.e. the week Summer School was due to start). I assured the HR department and the Summer School Director that I would not need bed rest and that I would just cut back my hours a bit. After speaking with HR, I had a better idea how I needed to save money and started to feel a bit more under control. Again, this was kind of totally doable! It was a little worrisome. My summer school salary was much needed if I was going to make it work.

As time went on, my body started to feel like it was being taken over by aliens. After having lost over 50 pounds and actually enjoying exercising, pregnancy was a rude awakening. Anyone who has ever been pregnant will tell you about the nausea, the constant sleepiness, the frequent trips to the bathroom. It seems like you have no control, whatsoever, over your body. That drove me crazy. I had so many things to do: exercise, grade papers, plan classes, web design work. Yet, my body would not let me do any of it. I felt like crying all the time. This was yet another hint from God that I was not going to get to be in control this time.

Then came June. You may have read my previous post about my journey to bed rest. That was the rudest awakening. I did not even make it to 25 weeks before I found myself lying flat in a hospital bed on IV drugs and strapped to a contraction monitor. I think this was the point when I started to surrender. I mean, how many times do you need to be hit in the head before you finally duck? I got the message, God, you can give me a break now!

For 10 weeks, I just let my body rule and waited as the babies grew. When we finally hit 32 weeks, I actually started getting excited about the end. When Dr. Hartford returned from his 9 day trip to Hawaii, I asked him about scheduling my c-section. We agreed to try for September 6 at 7 am. I should have known better. Making any plans during this pregnancy has proven to bring some new lesson to come slamming down on my head. Sure enough, the hospital wasn't able to schedule me for September 6th. Or 7th. Or 8th. Another subtle reminder from God that I don't get to decide how this pregnancy goes.

Now, here I sit, again with a murky end to the Twinsie Journey. I have finally just let it go. Millions of women have been pregnant and not known when their journeys will end. Who am I to declare that I will be anything other than one of their number?

Pregnancy has definitely been a life lesson for me. I've been in control of everything for so long, that I needed to be reminded that it was truly just an illusion. I can only imagine the chaos that the birth of the Twinsies will bring. I'm sure I'll try to be in control of feeding times and sleeping times. I may even try to plan an outing when they are 2 weeks old. And God will return to slap me in the head and bring me back down to earth. Sometimes you really do have to just LET IT GO. After all, what is the point in trying to hold desperately onto control when life is so much more fun when you roll with the punches???

CPR, Ultrasounds, Football, and the Theory of Relativity

Today was the first day of faculty meetings at school. I woke up early as if I were going to take a shower and drive to school. That was before I heard the IV beeping for attention and felt Iggy kicking me to make me turn over. I'm sure that there are a lot of teachers at school (and I have always been one of them) who hate CPR day. Every year we have to renew our CPR cards and many of us feel like we could teach the course. CPR day has always been a day to be endured. We all sit there and hope that we got the "cool" instructor who will make it short and sweet. Today, I actually missed that time sitting with other teachers, quoting lines from the Red Cross videos, and taking silly pictures of one another practicing rescue breathing. I missed hearing everyone's summer experiences and their new plans for the school year. There are still several more days of faculty meetings and it is difficult to lay here in bed and miss knowing the plans for the school year. I'm keeping my eyes on the prize though! In just 15 days, we'll have babies!

On Monday, we had an ultrasound. Our ultrasound showed two very active babies. We were able to see Hermie's chest expand and contract as she practiced breathing the amniotic fluid. It was absolutely exciting! Dr. Bruce had a hard time measuring the Twinsies because they are so confined in my belly. Iggy looks to have gained a pound. He is not so certain about Hermie.
According to his measurements, she lost an ounce over the past 2 weeks. This is quite worrisome. However, Dr. Bruce took the information from the ultrasound back to his office so that he could do some recalculating. Everyone keeps trying to reassure me. Even Dr. Hartford got into the act, telling me about other patients who ultrasounds like mine that did not make any sense. Since Dr. Bruce hasn't contacted Dr. Hartford with any concerns, I've been told not to worry. Still, I am concerned about Hermie's apparent weight loss. I'm drinking the Ensure again just in case. Please keep some positive thoughts and prayers that Hermie's weight is higher than we actually saw.

The Twinsies got to be present for their first pre-season Chicago Bears game last night. Daddy came to visit and we watched the Bears beat the Super Bowl Champion Colts. Needless to say, Daddy was very excited (he had to be reprimanded by the nurses not to yell ). It also helped that we had a good television signal as our Directv at home is on the fritz. The Twinsies were not to impressed by the game, but I'm sure once they can actually see the game, they will be just as excited as their father.

Since we started the countdown to September 6, time has started to crawl by. When we were trying to gain time, things seemed to go much faster. Now, I live from meal to meal, checking each one off as we inch toward the big day. How strange that having an actual due date has changed my perception of time so much. I guess it's all relative. Other mommies trying to gain time are probably experiencing the dragging by of each minute and second.

15 days and counting! Tomorrow we celebrate 34 weeks pregnant. I realized that if the babies are delivered September 6, I will be kept in the hospital for 4 more days to recover from the c-section. That sends me home one day shy of 13 weeks in the hospital. That just doesn't seem right to leave without completing a full 13 weeks! There has to be a gold watch or a trophy or something for making it that long. Here's to the next 15 days flying by!

We've Started the Countdown!

It's been confirmed! September 6th is the big day. My c-section is scheduled for 7 am, so we'll have babies by 8 am. Just to bring that home to you, September 6th is only 18 days away. Can you believe that? If you are dying to know the babies' names, remember that you aren't alone. If you are interested in receiving the Baby Name Unscramble Email, send an email to me and I'll add you to the list.

Eddie estimates the babies must weigh about 5 lbs each by now. We'll have our ultrasound to confirm it, but I would not be surprised if he is right. I feel like I am all baby now. They are so very active and it is hard to get a lot of solid rest. Instead, I've been catching cat naps here and there. I'm a little worried. Does all this baby action mean the same kind of action when they are born? Will they ever sleep? My sister says she had one baby who was active all the time and then slept constantly once she was born. Another hardly moved and once born was awake all the time. I'm kind of hoping that her experience will be mine. I don't know what Eddie and I will do with to very awake babies.

This Tuesday, I will have been in the hospital for 10 weeks. This past week has been the hardest on record. The nurses have determined that I have an allergy to Hipocleanse, a solution used to disinfect and clean an area being prepped for a procedure. They have been using Hipocleanse for the PICC line areas for the last several weeks and I have developed horrible rashes on my left arm and now on my right arm as a result. The good news is that we figured this out before my c-section! Hipocleanse is used to prep areas for surgery as well. That would have been so awful! I'm hoping that the rashes on my arms will be gone by the time the babies are born. They are kind of scary looking, not to mention uncomfortable.

Get excited! 18 days is so very close. It is actually kind of intimidating. I'm too young to be a mom (yes, I know I am 35) and they are going to let me take 2 babies home?!! I haven't had any baby care classes or anything. Ahhhh! They should at least make you have a baby license or something. Anyone else ever feel like this?

Wow, These Babies are Getting Big!

Today, I feel really big! It is hard to breathe and the babies seem to take up more space by the second! Aunt Rebecca came and took pictures of us today so that we could share the size of my belly. Of course, the print of my dress seems to camouflage its actual size. It was the first day I've blow dried my hair and put on makeup in 9 weeks.

She took us outside to one of the side patios where it was really hot! Here are some pictures for you to enjoy!

If you would like to see more pictures, here is a link to my PhotoBucket account. The good news today is that we have a date to expect the Twinsies: September 6th. This seems to be a big day all around. It is the day Aunt Loretta left home to become a BVM, it's the day before Aunt Rebecca and Uncle Mike's wedding anniversary, and, I'm told, if you are a swimmer, it is the cutoff date for age requirements. See! It was meant to be. Dr. Hartford told me that we still have to confirm that all is well with the babies and as long as they are doing okay and I don't go into labor naturally, then we can expect them on September 6th.

Get ready! That is only 24 days away!

Why didn't anyone tell me my belly was that huge?

Over the past week or so, I've noticed changes in my body. My belly seems a little rounder and it has been more difficult to get out of bed. I'm starting to get worried that I am going to need a forklift to get me out of bed and in and out of the shower! My ankles are still small, but I am sure that won't last much longer.

I've been taking Benedryl for the past few days because of a sensitivity to the plastic tape used to hold my I.V. tubing in place. I don't know about you, but Benedryl makes me super-sleepy and I was out of it until about 1 pm yesterday. At that point, I decided I wasn't going to remain comatose all day and made myself get up, brush my teeth, wash my face, and order lunch.

An hour or so later, I was feeling pretty proud of myself and decided I wanted some chocolate. Eddie and his dad had left some money with me for the vending machines, so I got myself up out of bed, dragged my I.V. pump along with me and headed down the hallway. I had to stop a couple of times to catch up with nurses and by the time I made it the 50 or so steps to the vending machine, I felt like my belly was going to fall onto the floor.

Right before I got there, I looked up at the windows and saw a woman outside who was seriously pregnant. I mean huge! I remember thinking: "Wow, I hope I never get that big. That looks really uncomfortable." She looked like she was about to topple over from the weight of her belly.

At that moment, I realized that I wasn't seeing a stranger outside of the window, I was seeing a reflection...a reflection of ME! That was MY belly that looked ready to burst. Why did no one tell me that my belly was that enormous????!!!

The only mirror in my room ends at mid-chest height, so I haven't seen my belly except when Eddie took a picture of me a few weeks ago. I was big then, but not this big! I've told my nurses that they need a full length mirror in these rooms so that longterm patients like me can see how their bodies are changing. I may just have to donate one for this room. No woman should have the shock I had yesterday! I think I may be traumatized for life!

We made it to Week 32!

Honestly, I'm not sure I can keep it together as I write this. Eight weeks ago, I thought the twins would be born way too early and that they would be spending the next several months of their lives in the NICU. I feel so amazingly blessed that Eddie and I chose Dr. Hartford and that Dr. Hartford happened to be at Huntington Hospital the night we went into pre-term labor. Being here has made all the difference. I wish you could meet the fantastic, loving, superbly talented nurses who have dried my tears, made me laugh, answered all hundred thousand of my questions, and listened to all of my stories. Everyone of them is outstanding and the twins and I have been SO very lucky to have had these amazing women in our lives!

As of today, the Twinsies are still considered preemies, but they are no longer in the micro-preemie or moderately preemie categories! If they were born today, their main concerns would be feeding as they are developing their suckling and swallowing actions. If they were born today, they would have a 95% chance of survival and would still spend time in the NICU, but not as much as they might have if they had been born prior to 32 weeks.

At our ultrasound on Monday, we got the fantastic news that the babies had each gained over a pound in the past 2 weeks. They both weigh 3 pounds 14 ounces and are on their way to over 4 pounds each. This was such wonderful news. Just 2 weeks ago, Hermie had only gained 2 oz and the doctors started having me drink Ensure twice a day to make sure that I was getting enough calories for the babies. That, coupled with the homemade meals Grandma Rosi had delivered and Eddie's contraband fast food, not only helped the babies gain weight, but me, too! The Twinsies are right on target for 32 weeks and should gain another half pound for each of the weeks the three of us stay together. I can tell they are growing because of the size of my tummy. Wow! I did not know your stomach could stretch this far!

We are getting so close! Believe it or not, we are only 4 weeks from my goal of 36 weeks. That is just 28 days! Technically, the babies can be born anytime now, but the three of us are focused on September 6th! Everyone told me that this pregnancy would go very quickly, but it hasn't. It isn't just the hospital stay that has made it long. Even when I was at home, it seemed like time was in slow motion. Now that we are down to the last 28 days or so, I am getting so excited to meet Hermie and Iggy.

Rest assured that their "real" names have been chosen and Eddie is already planning how he will share their names with everyone. My sisters have been trying diligently to get us to tell them what the babies' names will be, but Eddie and I have held firm. There are so few surprises left to us that their names have to be kept secret! Eddie has promised Rebecca that he will create a word scramble for her of the babies' first and middles and email it to her the night before they are born. If she can figure it out, then she'll know the names before he announces them.

My sisters and my mom are headed to our house this weekend to finish putting the baby alcove together so that the Twinsies have what they need when we come home. They bought us most of the basics, so when it comes to diapering and bathing, we are all set. Luckily, we have lots of clothes. We still need lots of things, but I know we will still have time to buy things like swings and bouncy seats and the rest of the things we chose on our registry. I'm keeping my eye on Babies R Us to see if they will l be having a Labor Day sale (it only makes sense that they would).

Well, the countdown has begun!

Growing Babies...

Today, we had our latest ultrasound. The last ultrasound left me feeling scared and worried because the babies hadn't gained a lot of weight. The doctors put me on 2 daily Ensures and Rosi (Eddie's mom) decided to feed me as much as possible. She's brought wonderful food over the past 2 weeks. It certainly worked. I gained 3 pounds a week ago Sunday and this past Sunday had gained 5! (The doctor doesn't think this is all real weight. He thinks some of it is the Magnesium Sulfate and bed rest.) That isn't the best part. The ultrasound is estimating that both babies gained over a pound each! Iggy and Hermie both weigh 3 pounds 14 ounces! They are back on track and perfect for almost 32 weeks. Plenty of amniotic fluid. Iggy is still right in position to be born (determined to be born first). His head is in my pelvis and his body wraps up along my left side with his feet directly under my belly button. Hermie is breech, her head directly under my ribcage and her body wrapped to the right side, her feet under my belly button. Apparently, they have been kicking each other's feet for quite some time.

Now that I know what I am feeling for, I feel Iggy have the hiccups at least twice a day. As I write this, he is hiccuping like crazy. It is such a fun feeling. Everyone keeps saying, "Oh, that must be so annoying!" Are they crazy? What an amazing feeling it is! As uncomfortable as I am starting to become, I treasure every moment of this pregnancy. I have babies in my tummy. I never thought I would. So, darn it, I'm going to love feeling the hiccups! It is so incredibly sweet.

Belly buttons are my new thing. I'm waiting for my belly button to go flat. It has been getting shallower and shallower, but I still have one. Becca lost her belly button with each of her 3 pregnancies, but Kristen never lost her belly button. Hmmmm. I wonder which way I'll go?

The babies' names are still top secret, but Eddie and I have finally decided what their names are. We had 2 girls' names and 2 boys' names on a piece of paper and were going to choose when the babies were born, but I feel like the babies have already decided their names in utero. Is that weird? Everyone keeps trying to get the names out of me, but I've held firm. Eddie says that everyone knows they are twins and knows they are a girl and a boy so their names have to be a surprise. There are so few surprises left in the world. So, the babies names and what they look like are it. I have given them one hint: both of the babies' names have the letter A in them. Hehehehehehehe!

Baby Showers at the Hospital

One of the things that made me sad when I found out I would be staying in the hospital was that I would miss the 2 baby showers that family and friends had planned for me. Both of the showers were postponed until after the babies are born. We thought it would be fun if we had Welcome Baby showers instead. In the meantime, I was scared that we wouldn't have any clothes or essentials necessary for the Twinsies.

To the rescue: My Mom, my sisters and my mother-in-law.

Since I couldn't go to a baby shower, the baby shower came to me. My sisters and my mom went crazy using the money they would have spent on a baby shower and bought tons of things for the Twinsies. They bought clothes, our bath tub, towels, wipes, blankets...They went above and beyond! They had the shower out on the patio in the midst of all the flowers and sunshine. Hailey, Bianca, Brandon, and Baby Cousin Nathan were there. My sisters served sliced apples and strawberries with whipped cream! We had so much fun opening everything. Grandma Rosi contributed to the day, too. She took all of the clothes she purchased and hung them on a clothes line. She then layered them in a laundry basket so that I would have to pull out the clothes line...revealing each outfit one at a time. It was such an adorable idea! The whole time was wonderful (even though it was super hot outside).

Then, today, Grandma Rosi planned a Diaper Shower. Lots of women from the Uribe/Villalvazo side of the family came with diapers. Her goal was to have over a thousand diapers. Sure enough, we came in at 1064 diapers! Of course, there was food too! El Pollo Loco, homemade potato salad, and fresh sliced fruit. We had lots of fun and Eddie and I were really impressed by the number of diapers we collected. It was a nice way to start our nursery.

We can't wait for the Aloha Babies! Shower coming after the babies are born. Everyone will get to hold babies and we'll all get to spend time together. Lots of fun to come!

The joys of bed rest

As of today, I have been in the hospital for 7 weeks and 5 days. While that number seems long, I've started looking toward the amount of time it is until the babies are born. This past Thursday, I celebrated the end of week 31! Since our goal is 34 to 36 weeks, that means I have only 2.5 to 4.5 weeks until my babies are born. It is so amazing. I remember back when I had 12 weeks to go.

There are many things you don't realize about bed rest until you have to do it. Lots of people think, "Cool! I wish I could be on bed rest. All the TV I want and people waiting on me hand and foot." Um, yeah...so the "cool" factor evaporated the first week. Lying in bed for as long as I have has been tough. I get out of breath walking the 10 steps to my bathroom. If I sit up in a chair for longer than 45 minutes, I get light-headed and nauseous. My legs (which were starting to look slim after all my Jenny Craig/exercising) have lost so much muscle that they are losing their shape. I had to have a PICC line installed in my arm for the IV fluids and the Mag Sulfate. It has to be wrapped every time I want to take a shower so that it doesn't get wet. Plus, I have to remember that I am hooked up to an IV...I can't just move my arm when I want.

Bed rest in the hospital is even harder than at home. Nurses have to monitor my blood pressure and temperature every 4 hours. I have to have blood drawn every 3 days to check my Mag levels. I have to be creative about my meals because I have officially eaten everything on the menu. The hardest part is that I can't go visit anyone. People have to come visit me. I feel very guilty that people have to drive so far to come see me. Often, I worry that I am not entertaining them enough!

Even though bed rest is boring, frustrating, challenging, etc., I just have to keep my eyes on the goal: to deliver healthy babies. Every moment I stay in bed and keep from delivering is another moment our unborn babies have to grow and be born healthy. What an amazing thing that is! What a gift to give to our children!!!!

Besides, everyone keeps telling me that once I have my twins in my arms, I will forget all of these weeks in bed. I'm not sure about that, but I know they will seem inconsequential then.

It's been a long, tough road.

Who knew back on January 27th that our journey toward parenthood would be so challenging? In the beginning, it was all just so amazing and exciting. After 12 years of marriage, we were so excited to learn that we were pregnant for the first time. It was an absolute surprise, not only for us, but for both of our families as well. Then, on February 14, our OB told us that there were 2 babies! Twins! Again, we were beside ourselves. How could we be so lucky?

Technically, Eddie called it from the beginning. The day we discovered we were pregnant, he started telling me that we were probably having twins. I, of course, told him he was insane and that "there better only be one baby in there!" Now, I have to take that back and apologize to the twins on a daily basis for swearing there should only be one of them.

Dr. Hartford warned us from the very beginning that a twin pregnancy is not the same as a singleton pregnancy. He talked about things like bed rest, c-sections, possible pre-term labor...All of which I blew off thinking "Oh, that won't be me! That's other people." I should have gotten the hint when I started having "all day" morning sickness. While I did not throw up more than twice, I was constantly nauseous and very little made it better. I went searching for different "cures" for morning sickness and came across a crazy idea to use Sea Bands. Eddie took me to the drug store on a Friday evening and I put them on as soon as we paid for them. Amazingly, they started working right away! They did not make the nausea go away completely, but they took the edge off and that is all that mattered. The nausea stayed with me all the way through the first 18 weeks and finally trailed off, coming and going when I least expected it.

One thing I did not expect was that very few people could relate to all of the things I was going through. Very few understood about the constant nausea and still others could not relate to my absolute lack of an appetite. Some kept saying I was experiencing things too early or that I couldn't possibly be feeling the things I was feeling yet. So many people wanted to help, but were not sure that their experiences with singleton pregnancies would help them relate. It made it hard to get advise!

I finally bought a book by Dr. Barbara Luke called When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads, Revised Edition: Proven Guidelines for a Healthy Multiple Pregnancy. At first, I thought it was written to scare me to death, but I soon realized it was trying to tell me what I hadn't heard when Dr. Hartford tried to warn me that my pregnancy would not be the same as everyone else's. As I read about pre-term labor, the need to gain weight quickly, and stays in the NICU, I began to realize that maybe Dr. Hartford hadn't been trying to scare me. The best part about reading that book was that when things went crazy in June, I was ready for them.

By the time we reached our 12th wedding anniversary, I was 20 weeks pregnant. My tummy was starting to show my pregnancy, but not enough for people to really see. The best way to see where the twins were growing was when I was lying down on the bed. Looking at my belly today, it was really small back then! I knew it would get bigger, but geez! I remember being really tired all the time. I just did not have energy to do much, but I never seemed to rest completely. I had so many things to do and never seemed to get ahead of them. I was still very "Pollyanna" about my pregnancy. Summer School was coming and there was no way I was going on bed rest. I think even then, my body was lobbying for bed rest. I was wiped out driving home from school and it was torture to get up every morning.

Eddie and I planned a Babymoon for the first week of June. We knew that I would be working through the first week of August on Summer School, so we decided we needed to get away on one last "Just the Two of Us" trip. We drove to Monterey and spent 4 days exploring Monterey, Carmel, Pacific Grove, and the surrounding areas. Looking back now, my body was seriously overtaxed. The drive from Sylmar to Monterey was torture and I had a lot of contractions that week. I was so tired that Eddie had to travel out to bring us meals several times. I just couldn't leave the hotel room. On a happier note, we really enjoyed our drives and spending time together. We laughed a lot and talked about things like baby names and what the babies would look like. It was a wonderful trip. Little did we know that the next week would bring a medical emergency.

On Monday, June 11, I started feeling like I was having a lot of contractions. I noticed some changes in the feelings in my stomach and realized that my contractions felt different. When I went to see Dr. Hartford on Tuesday, he did some tests and sent me home, telling me I needed to be on bed rest. One of the tests he did, a fetal fibronectin test came back positive later that day. The test is used to test the possibility of pre-term labor starting. I completely freaked out when they called to tell me that it was positive. I had forgotten everything Dr. Luke had said about the FFN test and my stress level went through the roof. Crying, I heard the nurse say that they had ordered a terbutaline pump that would keep me from going into labor, but before that could happen, my contractions started to escalate. I started timing contractions and, an hour later, we were told to go to Huntington Memorial Hospital in Pasadena. Dr. Hartford was there delivering another twin mom who had made it to 28 weeks. He was pretty stressed out and seeing that I was in preterm labor at 23 weeks and 5 days did not help his stress level.

There, Dr. Hartford discovered that I was having labor contractions and they attempted to slow them by giving me injections of terbutaline. For most women, terbutaline works to slow contractions. Mine did not slow. At some points, I was having contractions every 3 minutes! Eddie sat by my side in Labor and Delivery, holding my hand and drying my tears. He worked so hard to distract me that he even read to me!

They decided to admit me and I was put on magnesium sulfate to try to stop contractions. Luckily, the medication worked and the contractions slowed. I was hooked up to a monitor for the contractions, most of the contractions were just Braxton Hicks contractions. They did an ultrasound the following day and both of the babies looked totally fine. Their heartbeats were strong and they were moving around. My cervix, which the night before had started to become effaced, measured at 3.4 cm. This made the doctors very happy. They decided that I had a good chance of holding on to the babies as long as we kept the contractions from returning. The plan was to obtain a terbutaline pump for me and send me home.

Unfortunately, when the terbutaline pump arrived 4 days later, it did not work for me. As soon as the magnesium sulfate was removed, I started having contractions again. They tried upping the doses, but that only made my heart beat like crazy and my hands shake so hard I could hardly eat. The doctor decided to put me back on the magnesium. Soon after, the contractions slowed. The whole thing was very scary!

Because magnesium sulfate has some nasty side effects, I had to remain hospitalized. Nurses needed to check my breathing, reflexes, and kidney response often. Mag sulfate can be toxic if it builds up too much in your blood stream. This translates to an extended visit to the hospital. Considering the last time I had stayed overnight in a hospital was in 1974, I was a little discouraged. Eddie spent the night with me for several nights in on a cot next to my hospital bed until I sent him home. It is really hard to get a full night's sleep when there are nurses coming in and out of your room every 4 hours.

As the days passed, I still felt worried that the babies could be born at any second. Somehow I hadn't gotten the message that the babies had chance of staying inside me. The positive fetal fibronectin test predicts that you have a 40% chance of going into labor in the next 2 weeks. I took that to mean that the babies would come in the next 2 weeks. I did not even think that I might make it past that time. All I knew was that the babies were TOO small and they had a 70% chance of survival.

Flash forward 7 weeks...

Today, I have made it to 31 weeks! I can't believe it. Back at 24 weeks, I could only focus on making it to 28 weeks. Anything past that was a dream. Now I am looking forward to 34 or 36 weeks. How amazing!

OH, MY GOSH! Week 30!

Do you believe it! We made it to Week 30! I am beside myself! Even Dr. Hartford is pleasantly surprised and excited! We should seriously have a party!

The babies are getting SO big and it is getting harder and harder to move around. I didn't realize HOW big I was until Eddie took a picture of me standing up the other day. YIKES! I don't know how I would be able to do anything if I was at home.

Things have been exciting: My doctor lowered the Magnesium Sulfate to see if my body could tolerate a lower dosage and the answer is : NO! I started having many many contractions and they were really strong, so back up the magnesium went. I also plan on lying on my side more.

From Monday's ultrasound, Iggy has himself positioned to be born already and he seems to be trying to encourage that. When I lie on my side, he is forced into a different position. The babies are no longer with their heads together. Iggy's head is in my pelvis and Hermie's head is up under my ribs. They weights are estimated at 2 lbs 10 oz for Iggy and 2 lbs 8 oz for Hermie. I get to drink Ensure twice a day to help get their weights up. I haven't been hungry and have been forcing myself to eat. The doctors want to make sure that I have all of the calories I need, thus the Ensure.

Rebecca and Kristen threw me a little family baby shower at the hospital on Sunday. They bought us lots of onesies, booties, hats, our stroller, and car seats. I was starting to get worried that the babies would be born and they wouldn't have anything! It was so much fun to sit out on the patio and open presents with my sisters, Mom, Eddie, and Rosi (my mother-in-law). We had a great time eating strawberries and sliced apples. Our little shower got us going, so we can at least bring the babies home when they are born.

I have officially been here for 6 weeks and 2 days! The nurses moved me out of my room and had it cleaned from floor to ceiling so that I could feel fresh and new. I even went through my things and tossed some things. Wow! I had a lot of junk. But now, my room is all clean, Mom!

Our next goal is Week 32. Then Week 34...then Week 36. After that Dr. Hartford plans to deliver them. Wouldn't that be amazing to make it to Week 36?

Umm, 29 weeks? No problem!

Today, the Twinsies and I have completed 29 weeks. Five weeks ago, it was iffy that we would make it this far, but now I am looking to 30 weeks and beyond with hope.

Earlier this week, my doctor was talking about trying to wean me off of the magnesium sulfate (the medication that keeps my contractions away), because I had had so few contractions. Then, yesterday, I started having some pretty strong contractions that lasted through the night. He has now nixed the idea of taking me off of the magnesium. It is likely that I will have several days of no contractions and then have them randomly start up again. It seems like the more the babies move, the more contractions I have.

The babies are getting very big! My stomach is very big and lopsided because of the babies' placements. Hermie (the girl) has been living on the right side of my belly, causing the lopsided look. She has also been trying to hang out in my ribs, so the two of us have been having conversations about staying down. Iggy has maintained his hold at the bottom of my belly, lying across my pelvis. He is determined to be the first one born and he isn't letting his sister move down at all.

Eddie is home from the hospital and is doing much better. He is staying with his parents until he builds up some strength to be able to go home. He goes to spend a few hours at our house to play with our kitties, Phoebe and Dee-Dee. They are both a little traumatized because they haven't seen me for so long and because their routine has been so disrupted, but I hope that things will be better soon.

The latest news is that Dr. Hartford expects that we will deliver the Twinsies between weeks 34 and 36. Generally, when someone has been on bed rest as long as I have (37 days today), they like to deliver the babies as soon as they are over 4 pounds. Dr. Hartford would like to let the babies stay inside of me as long as possible, but the other doctors get nervous that something bad will happen. They feel that it is better to deliver the babies early and have them spend some time in the NICU than have something go wrong when they are inside of me.

Here's a cute memory for you: Rebecca has been bringing the kids to see me. Bianca loves the idea of her "baby cousins" and is determined to have them in her tummy as well. A few days ago, we came back from my wheelchair parole and the next thing I knew, Bianca was lying on my bed, her arms and legs splayed out, with her belly bare. "Look, Nina, I'm having baby cousins too!"


Hailey is working on becoming the champion Uno player. I'm giving her a run for her money, but she's getting better. Bianca can play as long as all she needs to do is put down a similar color or number. I am really grateful to be able to spend time with Rebecca and the kids. They do a great job of distracting me as do my other visitors. Eddie has been sneaking in contraband meals (they aren't really contraband) and he and my sister have been keeping me in fresh nightgowns so that I don't have to wear the hospital gowns.

We are in the home stretch now! In the next 36 to 49 days, the Twinsies will be born. I hope everyone is getting ready. I'm so exhausted from being in bed that I'll need all the help we can get with the babies. You know you can't wait to hold them

Goal #1 - Check!

Today is the big day! The babies and I have completed 28 weeks of pregnancy. 30 days ago, we weren't certain I would make it this far, but today I feel like having a tea party!

Monday's ultrasound was very positive. The babies have lots of water around them and are growing very well. The ultrasound machine is projecting that they weigh 2 lbs 8 oz and 2 lbs 4 oz. As usual, they are turned so that their heads are near one another (secretly plotting against us already!). Dr. Bruce, the Chief of Perinatal Medicine here at Huntington, was very pleased with them. He says my body looks like it has no plans of going into labor anytime soon as long as we keep the contractions at bay.

Eddie and I have had a few set backs this week. As many of you know, Eddie fell on Saturday when he was leaving the hospital and broke his leg. At first we thought it was his knee, but it turns out it was his femur that was broken. He had surgery on Sunday and will be leaving the hospital today or tomorrow. Then, yesterday I started feeling weak and very warm. When the nurses took my temperature, I had a fever of 102. After lots of blood draws, the doctors have determined that I have a couple of infections and may also have the flu. I am feeling better today. My fever is down and the babies heart rates are back down as well. They have been kicking me and playing, so hopefully all is well.

Our next goal is 30 weeks, a mere 2 weeks away! The longer the babies stay inside me the better and as I've said many times "Anything for the Twinsies!"