I <3 Schedules!

Schedules have always been my friend. I forget lots of things, but if it is on the schedule, I stick to it like glue.

As much as I hated the fact that Gracie and Luke had to go to day care, it gave them continuity and a SCHEDULE! Now that they are home with me, we are following the same schedule they had at day care (with early morning added for good measure):

6:30 - 7:30: Wake up and have Mommy rescue Twinsies from their room, get ready for the day and watch Barney (only the the Old MacDonald episode will do)

7:45 - 8:15ish: Breakfast

8:30: Play in room with Mommy (bug Mommy about crackers)

10:00: Morning snack and more play

11:30 or noon: Lunch

12:30 or 1:00: nap time (try to get away with asking for crackers)

2:00 - 2:30: Wake up and rock with Mommy for a while until they get bored and decide to hit brother for carrying your babydoll across the room.

2:45: water play outside

3:30: come inside because our outside is no where near as fun as the outside of day care, get out of wet clothes

3:45: chase each other through the house, pull boxes down from where they are carefully stacked, beat each other over the head with the spoons Daddy wants to sell at the yard sale, but hasn't put in a secure location

4:15: start crying for dinner because Mommy can make it and hold you at the same time

4:30: get into household products so that Mommy starts to cry from crazy Twinsies

5:00: Dinner!

5:15: Throw dinner at Mommy because it isn't what you want (Gracie) or gobble your food down so fast that Mommy doesn't have a chance to take one bite before you ask for "Mas!" (Lukie)

5:30: Get cleaned up from dinner/play a bit

6:30 - 7:00ish: Bath time and books with Daddy

7:30: Bed time

See? Schedules are fun!

Oh, there's my morning wake up call! Got to go!

Bliss

You know when everything seems so wonderful and you are worried about the other shoe dropping? You spend every minute waiting for something awful to happen and in the meantime, you miss all the good stuff.

I've been living that way for 8 months now. Always waiting for cereal to be flung at me or the contractor to call and tell me something awful happened to the house or for Daddy's doctor to call me and tell me that he's had a turn for the worse. I've lived every day waiting for the next bad thing to occur. I mean, come on! That's the way it has been over the past 8 months, right?

Lately, though, the bad things seem pretty inconsequential. I can handle the second Poopy Diaper Incident. No problem. Thrown milk glass and liquid spilled all over the new floor? No sweat! A Twinsie figuring out how to open the back door and making her way down the back steps and out to wait for someone to put her in the car when no one knows that she is no longer in the house? Ha! (Well, only after my heart started beating at a normal rate again.)

Life, it seems, has entered a rather blissful stage and I'm soaking up every minute of it! It seems all our life wanted was for the four of us to be back together again and in our house. Gracie and Luke are so very happy and LOVING playing with their Daddy. As soon as I can find the darn cord for my camera, I'm going to show you just how much fun they are having.

It's bliss.

And the best part is I don't care if the other shoe is about to drop. I'm too busy enjoying the here and now.

This parenting thing

I started this blog as a memory book for Gracie and Luke. I knew I would not be one of those mommies who keep meticulous baby books and have locks of hair taped into albums. I couldn't even keep up with my pregnancy journal past the 18th week! I try to make sure that the posts I include here are about them and about things in their lives.

Occasionally, though, I need to take a moment to share my thoughts on being a parent. In 30 or so years, Gracie or Luke will come to me with questions about dealing with a toddler who won't eat their peas or bites her brother or who splashes water all over the bathroom. By that time, I will be a grandmother with the rosy-colored glasses that all grandparents have when they look at their grandkids. Looking at my grandchild or grandchildren, I may not be able to recall the trauma of my own children's early days. I may not be able to give them words of wisdom past, "Love, this will pass. All toddlers do this."

Hopefully, when they come to me, this blog will still be in existence and they can come here to read my "in the moment" thoughts on dealing with the day to day challenges of almost 22 month olds. Maybe the blog will help them where time and my rose-colored glasses will not.

Toddlers are crazy creatures. They are daredevils, organizers, joyous and playful. They are also shy, destructive, moody, and violent. They go from knowing exactly what they want one moment to inconsolable crying the next. They are impulsive and are the reason some mommies start to drink. I know. I have a glass of wine every other night. If you know me, you know this is a HUGE thing.

This time has become a series of challenges. The challenges never seem to end, simply keep piling on top of one another. Mostly it is because Gracie and Luke are testing their environment. For the better part of a year and a half, it's been all about them. During that time, they would cry, we would jump to get them food, change a diaper, or help them fall asleep. Now, we expect them to entertain themselves for 5 minutes and they fall apart. They jump on a bed because it is fun and we stop them, ending their fun. Again, they fall apart.

Every day, these little tests drive me to the brink. I suspect, although I will never know, that one toddler may be easier to deal with. Two is trying and difficult and exhausting. I've been in a constant battle of the wills since January. According to some experts, I have about 14 more months to go. Right.

The thing is, as challenging as this time is, as frustrated as I get, as painful as it has been, I know we are living this for a reason. Gracie and Luke are learning how to interact with the world and are learning what their boundaries are. This is a critical time for them and my response to everything that happens is very important. I'm teaching them what is acceptable and what is not.

Here's what I've learned:

• There are some battles that aren't worth the fight. Gracie and Luke destroy the living room every day. The chaos makes my brain hurt. Instead of worrying about it and getting mad at them, I'm constantly making games out of cleaning up. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't, but we're working on it.
• Bedtime is a constant battle, but that's because I let it get that way. I've been so worried about leaving Gracie and Luke alone to go to sleep, that I've given them the distraction of ME to keep them awake. The last 3 weeks have been atrocious and it wasn't until I had had enough of the trauma that I remembered what my sleep books said. Gracie and Luke are old enough to go to sleep by themselves. Once I remembered that and let them do it, they finally learned that when you are tired it means go to sleep. They also learned a critical lesson: When Mommy says it is time to do something, she means business and she WILL follow through.
• Just because they don't eat the food I make right now, doesn't mean they won't eat it in a few hours or tomorrow. I used to take it personally that they would not eat my food. Now I know to cover it up and put it away for the next meal.
• Hitting is a constant thing in our home. My first instinct is to run and stop them, but I realized that hitting escalates when they are tired, so it is my job to anticipate tired babies. The hitting is also something they have to figure out for themselves in their relationship. I can help them with the aftermath (gentle hands, saying sorry, and hugs), but Gracie and Luke need to understand that they are hurting one another. It sounds so counter intuitive, but it isn't. If they hit me or use an object to hit the other one, I need to make sure to stop them, but the more I overreact, the more it will continue.
• Consequences, while difficult to enforce, are critical right now. No matter how tired I am, I have to let Gracie and Luke know that negative behavior results in a consequence. As a result, we've had some 3 minute baths recently because they think they can splash water all over the bathroom just like when they are in the pool. They hate getting out early, but slowly, they are realizing that I mean business and that when they do something I tell them they cannot do, I will remove them from the situation. Some day, I won't have to do this any more. I think they'll be 36 years old by then.

Mixed in with all of these challenges have been so many funny and exciting moments. The words are coming fast and furious. The new skills they are demonstrating are fantastic. The new developments in their personalities are so much fun.

When things get bad (i.e. Lukie has just slammed a metal measuring cup into Gracie's forehead), I deal with the situation and then cuddle them close. Because, really, it's all about loving them in the end. No matter how frustrating they are, no matter how much I want to cry, everything I do for them is my love for them.

Everything.