Daddy and Tio Joey's Big Day

In about 12 hours, the day we have been waiting for will be here.  Tomorrow morning, Tio Joey will go into surgery so that the doctors can remove one of his kidneys.  That kidney will then be transplanted into Daddy.  It's a big, huge day for them tomorrow.

We've been very anxious, trying to catch up with lots of things, recording Daddy singing lullabies for Gracie and Lukie (apparently, I don't sing well enough), and trying to just enjoy one another.  The road to recovery is going to be long and difficult for Daddy and we wanted to make sure to get as much in as we possibly could.

But tonight, in preparation for the big surgery, we celebrate Tio Joey.  He has gone through so much to make tomorrow possible.  He's changed his diet, lost 35 pounds (weight we did not think he had to lose), and spent hours traveling to see doctors for test after test.  He never hesitated when Daddy asked if he would be tested;  none of the tios hesitated.  They all volunteered to give Daddy a kidney.  That amount of love cannot be quantified here or anywhere.  They are simply amazing.

So tonight, we want to say "thank you" to Tio Joey for giving our Daddy a second chance at a good life with us.  We love you, Tio Joey!

Tio Freddy, Daddy, a fierce Lukie, and Tio Joey celebrating Daddy's 40th Birthday

Happy Third Birthday, Gracie and Luke!

Sunday morning, September 5, I heard some stirring in Gracie and Luke's room. So, I got up, snuck over to their door, and opened it.

"Happy Birthday, Gracie and Lukie!" I said, turning on the light.

"Yay," shouted Gracie, jumping up and down on her bed. "I'm three! I can ride the roller coaster!"

"Yay! Yay! Yay!" came from Lukie's side.

Thus began our day long birthday party.

The day was totally fun and full of excitement. We took Gracie, Lukie and all of their cousins to Adventure City (not by ourselves, we aren't that insane!).

Despite the crazy number of people there, we rode all of the rides (some more than once).

Lukie driving a fire truck.

Gracie and Bianca driving a rescue wagon. Love that smile, Gracie!

Emmie taking Uncle Mike for a spin. She was such a crazy driver.

My three year old cutie!

Emmie and Nathan on the planes.

Hailey and Auntie Ten Ten volunteered to take Gracie and Lukie on the roller coaster. They were so excited! It was all they could talk about.

Lukie and Auntie Ten Ten waiting for the ride to start.

Gracie and Hailey rode the last car. I think the reality of the roller coaster was starting to set in for Gracie.

Gracie holding onto Hailey for dear life as the roller coaster took its first turning descent.

The verdict: "Mommy, I don't like that roller coaster. It was scary."

We tried to get them to go back on, but I think roller coasters are out for the foreseeable future. At least we got pictures!

We finished our trip to Adventure City with the mini cupcakes that Gracie, Lukie and I made the day before. As requested, they were cupcakes with sprinkles inside and out. Everybody loved them and there weren't any left! We also opened presents and Gracie and Lukie were totally excited to see Candy Land, Chutes and Ladders, Dora and Diego Beanie Babies, cool new drawing boards, a dinosaur, a unicorn, and money!! Gracie informed me that she would like to use her money to buy a jeep. "One I can ride on, Mommy!"

We all headed over to Portillo's in Buena Park for Italian Beef Sandwiches (Daddy was very happy) and finally headed home. Gracie and Lukie had an amazing day and they were so thankful for their cousins, aunts, uncle and Nana who came to celebrate with them.

Now, they want a party so that everyone can come play Candy Land!

A Countdown and A Plea

In 6 days, Daddy and Tio Joey have their big surgery.  Early in the morning, September 15th, Tio Joey will be donating one of his kidneys to Daddy.  We've been counting down the days for a long time and now that it is almost here, we are so excited!  Nervous, but SO excited.

Daddy is already thinking ahead to after the surgery.  In October, we will be participating again in Step Out to Fight Diabetes, the annual walk in Santa Clarita to raise money to find a cure for diabetes.  Daddy's fight against diabetes has been long and hard.  Diabetes has gotten in some pretty good hits against Daddy, but he is not down and out yet.

Usually, by now, Daddy's team has raised a lot of money, but this year, donations are down.  He has a personal goal of $3000 and he's only raised $175.  It is so sad to see that number and know that in the past he was able to encourage more people to donate.  We are hoping to encourage everyone who reads our blog to Step Up and help us fight diabetes by sponsoring Daddy and his amazing brother, Joel.  You can sponsor, Daddy or Team O.L.E. (One Legged Ed).  Or, you could even join our team!  We'd love to have you AND you'll get a cool shirt.

To donate in Daddy's name, click here.  Please help!  Every penny counts!  Thank you!

And tomorrow, the world changes

This night, 3 years ago, I lay in my bed at Huntington Hospital knowing that it was my last night alone. The next day, Dr. Hartford planned to deliver Hermie and Iggy and I remember laying there overwhelmed with it all. Twelve weeks I had been in that bed, twelve weeks of tears, worry, anger, joy, loneliness. I was so ready for them to be born, anxious to be out of the hospital and to meet the two creatures who had been doing somersaults in my belly for so long.

I've been thinking back to that night a lot lately. I was so wired, I could not sleep so they gave me Benedryl and Ambien. I kept the TV on for a while in hopes it would lull me to sleep. A few days later, I would not be able to sleep for other reasons, but as I think back on that night, I realize I was an entirely different person.

Someone, no one I know, once said that you don't truly become a woman until you become a mother. I scoff at this every time I hear it said again. What a ridiculous statement! But I now realize, that for me, it was absolutely true. I was still an immature person. I may have been 35, but I was not an adult. I did not truly become one until I sat there next to my too too tiny babies and watched them fight for breaths in the NICU. The night before they were born, I just wanted them born for selfish reasons. I was tired. I was done. I wanted out. I wanted to meet them. When I eventually got to be there with them in the NICU, I felt like the worst person on the planet and kept saying over and over again that I should have fought to keep them in my belly a bit longer.

I've been looking at pictures and videos of them often over the past few days. They are not babies and it makes me so sad. I hate to even call them toddlers. They don't "toddle." They run. They jump. They wrestle. They fight. They sing. They love.

I am so scared to see them grow up. I am worried that they won't want to cuddle with me or want to share hugs and kisses. I am worried because I know this can't be this wonderful forever (despite all of the crazy 3-year old drama they are inflicting on us).

I guess I'm just going to have to record every moment in my memory and remember that this won't last forever. So today, as they spent their last day as 2 year olds, we baked birthday cupcakes and I let them frost every one, no matter how many times they put their butter knife into their mouths and then into the frosting. We went to Target and had ICEEs and I rigged the hose so that it dribbled water onto their slide so that they could have their very own water slide. We rolled around on the floor and giggled because Lukie had a seriously stinky booty and he wouldn't let me change his Pull-Up. We shared kisses and hugs and made up songs.

What a such a wonderful way to celebrate the last day of being 2! I shall never forget it.

Seriously Un-Cool

Tiny Town is closed.

What? Why? The Horror!

I just discovered it and now it is gone. I can only blame the Recession and the owner of the building who no doubt raised the rent or some anonymous parent who sued them and bankrupted them. Who knows what happened?

We are devastated. We had to talk about it all the way home.

"Mommy, Tiny Town is closed?"

"Yes, Gracie."

"Forever, Mommy?"

"Yes, closed forever, Lukie."

"Why is it closed, Mommy?"

"I don't know, Gracie."

"Did they go somewhere, Mommy?"

"I don't think so, Lukie. They just closed."

"Oh, no, Mommy! No more jumpies!"

"I know, Love. It will be okay."

"But Mommy, where are the jumpies?"

"Mommy, can we play at Tiny Town?"

"No, sweetheart, they are closed."

"Forever?"

"Yes, forever."

Silence.

"Mommy, can we go to Old McDonalds?"

"And get chicken nuggets and trench tries?"

"Yeah! And play on the climbing thing and go down the slide?!"

"I'm going to have dip with my chicken nuggets."

"Me, too!"


Maybe they won't miss Tiny Town as much as I will, after all.

On this day 3 years ago...

I've begun counting down the days until Gracie and Lukie turn 3.  None of the other ages have been as hard for me as 3 is.  For some reason, Gracie and Lukie turning 3 is a major milestone for them and the sign of the end of an era for me.  They are truly no longer babies.  I've said that before, but now...Now it is real.

On this day, 3 years ago, a major milestone happened in our pregnancy.  On this day, we began the countdown to Gracie and Lukie's birth.  We were no longer trying to keep them in my belly to help them grow, instead, we were just counting days until they would be born.

Here's a link to the post I wrote that day.  August 19, 2007.

The next few weeks are going to be very hard for me!

Things heard in the bathtub

"The dog was afraid of the water!  The DOG was a-FRAID of the WATER! The DAAAWWWG was afraid of the WAAATER! And then he ran AWAY!"

"Lukie, no splashing Mommy. You'll get her all wet!"
"Gwacie, I can get Mommy wet.  Daddy said I could."

"Twinkle, Twinkle Chicken Nugget!  How I wonder how you NUGGET!"

"Mommy, I want to watch the movie with the mean lizards and the cow with the horns and the cow is dead! And the mean lizards try to eat the babies."

"Mommy, Gwacie threw water on me."
"Then don't throw water on Gracie, Lucas."
"But I have to throw water on Gracie."
"Why?"
"Because I have to!"

"The doggie on the bus goes round and round, round and round.  The doggie on the bus goes round and round, all through the town."

Dear Gracie and Lukie,

I haven't written you a letter in a very long time, but today, I had an overwhelming sense that I wanted to write one to share with you how amazing it feels to be your Mommy.

The past few months have been super challenging. You are definitely about to turn 3, your impulsivity, your independence, your determination, your silliness, and your struggles with potty training are all minute by minute reminders! As frustrating as some of it can be, I wouldn't trade any of it for the world.

You see, if I did not get to chase you around to change your clothes, get your shoes on, help you put your books away, struggle to find foods you would actually eat, and deal with tantrums, I would not also get the AMAZING hugs and kisses that are so much a part of our days. I would not get the smiles, often accompanied by giggles, or the funny dances, the silly songs you sing, or the requests for pushing you on swings. I wouldn't get the spontaneous "I love you, Mommy!" declarations or the cuddles that make my heart happy.

I would not get any of those things, because I would not have YOU! You, Gracie and Lukie, are the two best things I have done in my life. I used to think I would be crazy to bring children into the wacky world we live in. Now, I know that children are by far the best blessings I can give to the world. You make the world a better place. You make my life better.

Daddy looked at me last night and said, "I can't believe they're ours" for about the hundred billionth time. At that moment, you were splashing water outside of the tub and had already soaked me. I looked at him (I'm sure there was huge amounts of frustration in my eyes), took a deep breath, and said, "Me neither. We are so lucky."

And we are. So very lucky!

Heaven on Earth if you are almost 3 AND if you are the Mommy of said 3 year olds

I have a few weeks off before I have to go back to work and it has been important to me to break up our routine and go out and about.  We went to Sea World on Monday to use our Buy A Day Get a Year Free passes.  We did all the things we did not get to do the last time we went and we had a lot of fun.  Gracie and Luke love the dolphins, seal lions, penguins, and the Sesame Street Place Play area.  They love Sea World, but let's face it.  Other than the Sesame Streat Place, it's mostly walking, sitting, and looking.

We had plans on Thursday to ride the train with Nana, but she decided it would be too much for her after her long vacation to take 6 grandchildren on a train.  No worries!  I had another suggestion:  Adventure City!  I did not know that Adventure City existed until last year, but when I researched it, I was completely excited.  It is a small theme park geared toward little kids under 48 inches.  It has 10 rides, a petting zoo, a Thomas the Tank Engine area, and a rock climbing wall.  Best of all, it is only $13.95 per person and free parking.  When I suggested it to Nana, she agreed it would be a great place to go.

We met Nana at Adventure City in the morning and played all day.  It was busy in the morning because of all the day camp kids, but when they left, it was like having Disneyland all to ourselves!  I think Brandon, Nate, Gracie and Luke rode the Rescue Cars about 6 or 7 times.  Every time I put their seat belts on I would remind them not to drive crazy.  They loved that and would pretend to spin the steering wheel really fast.  They rode in a different rescue vehicle each time.  Brandon loved the fire engine the most.

We flew on the air planes, rode the train around the park, rode the hand crank trains, and ran around in the "rain room."  We rode in air balloons (that scared Gracie to death).  Sadly, we discovered that Gracie and Lukie could not ride the roller coaster until they are 3 years old. 

We took a few breaks, taking advantage of super reasonable food prices.  Everyone's favorite food was popcorn, but we also had Dino Chicken Nuggets, salads, and ICEEs.

Nathan ran from ride to ride chatting up a storm with me.

Lukie hid his ICEE from everyone so that they would not try to drink it.

Can you see the Blue Raspberry?

Bianca asked if we could buy more popcorn.

Gracie looked ready to take a nap after lunch.

We had a tremendous day and can't wait to go back again!

Tiny Town, the second visit!

We've decided that Tiny Town is amazing! Gracie and Luke have so much fun there that we have to remind ourselves it costs $14 for our family to visit each time. They simply love the bouncies, the toys they don't have at home, and all of the new friends they meet.

They are on the go the entire time they are at Tiny Town. They especially love to climb on things.

Can you find the Twinsie in this picture?

See? It's Lukie! This is the Rescue Vehicle Jumpy Town. I could go on for hours about this one.

They like to race and try to take the small push cars on the slides. But, mostly, they just like to slide.

Of course, it is fun to try to drive the inflatables, but you don't really get anywhere.

Then, again, does it really matter when you are having this much fun?

Can we come back soon, Mommy?

Of course we can, my loves! But I need to save up another $14 first!

And then came yesterday...

And I jinxed us again.

Not only did Gracie have an accident at the park...on the playground equipment...but she had a meltdown of epic proportions last night.

I'm at a loss about this parenting thing.  Just when I think we are making progress, everything falls apart and we take 3 steps backward.  It's enough to drive me to drink...if I drank...but I usually don't.

I just really wish there were an instruction manual that worked.  Everyone has ideas and they are all great, but they only work about 3% of the time.

Graciela and Lucas,
If you are adults and reading this, I was at a serious low point when I wrote this.  You think you had it bad?  I felt like crying at every moment.  If you have kids, you'll feel this way too.  This isn't a threat or a wish that bad things will happen to you.  It is just a fact.  Parenting is hard and toddlers are crazed.  And they drive you to drink alcohol or Starbucks, whichever is closest.

Love, Mommy

I've decided to give myself a bit of a break.  Barnes and Noble is giving free chocolate to people who bring their nooks in.  Godiva and I have a date.