Morning Child vs. the Non-Morning Child

Gracie is a morning child.  She is always the first to wake up and because she is loath to be awake alone, she generally wakes someone else up to keep her company.  About 60% of the time, that lucky person is me.  She'll wake up 30 minutes or an hour before I really want to be awake and crawl into bed with me.  She'll start a conversation about how she wants to go see her cousin, Bianca, or how she is going to be the pink Power Ranger for Halloween.  Sometimes, she whispers questions to me or asks me about things that have peaked her interest.  Other times, it's "Mommy, will you come to the bathroom with me?" or "Mommy, I'm hungry.  Can we go get our breakfast and watch Dora?"

Lukie, on the other hand, is not a morning person.  If Gracie is absent from the room, he will sleep for an hour, sometimes two hours more.  One time, Gracie and I decamped to the living room and I closed his bedroom door on the way.  My boy slept until 11:14 a.m.  Clearly, he needed sleep.

The 40% of the time I am not the person Gracie wakes up, it is Lucas who gets the friend in his bed.  She'll climb up his ladder to the top bunk, cuddle next to him and start her conversation.  I can never hear what they are saying, but it definitely wakes me up.  The murmur of voices and eventually the sounds of Legos and cars being played with will being me to consciousness.  I often try to pretend I don't hear it, but it does not last long.

Gracie and Lukie look forward to the weekends.  The weekends are Ssssss days.  Days that start with "S" are days we get to Sssssleep in.  We used to only make it until about 5:30 a.m., but nowadays, we often make it until 7 a.m. before I have children crawling into my bed.  School days are a little more challenging.  Kindergarten is wearing Gracie and Lukie out.  I mean, fall-asleep-as-soon as-your-head-hits-the-pillow worn out.  Monday morning, I wake up early to take a shower and then I wake them up to get ready to go.  Monday and Tuesdays, they are usually awake quickly and we can get moving.  Around Wednesday, it takes a couple of tries to get Lukie out of bed.  By Thursday, he starts to cry because he is so tired.  By Friday, I have to go back multiple times and employ Gracie to help Lukie find his slippers.

It kills me to have to get them up this way.  I wish that I did not have to drive so far for work, maybe then, they could get a few more minutes of sleep.

Tonight, Gracie has decided that we are having a slumber party.  She's chosen the living room for our sleepover. I'm predicting that they will make it until 9 p.m. before they ask me if they can sleep in their beds.  Then again, how awesome would it be for us to make the memory of sleeping together out there?

Daddy and Tio Joey's Big Day

In about 12 hours, the day we have been waiting for will be here.  Tomorrow morning, Tio Joey will go into surgery so that the doctors can remove one of his kidneys.  That kidney will then be transplanted into Daddy.  It's a big, huge day for them tomorrow.

We've been very anxious, trying to catch up with lots of things, recording Daddy singing lullabies for Gracie and Lukie (apparently, I don't sing well enough), and trying to just enjoy one another.  The road to recovery is going to be long and difficult for Daddy and we wanted to make sure to get as much in as we possibly could.

But tonight, in preparation for the big surgery, we celebrate Tio Joey.  He has gone through so much to make tomorrow possible.  He's changed his diet, lost 35 pounds (weight we did not think he had to lose), and spent hours traveling to see doctors for test after test.  He never hesitated when Daddy asked if he would be tested;  none of the tios hesitated.  They all volunteered to give Daddy a kidney.  That amount of love cannot be quantified here or anywhere.  They are simply amazing.

So tonight, we want to say "thank you" to Tio Joey for giving our Daddy a second chance at a good life with us.  We love you, Tio Joey!

Tio Freddy, Daddy, a fierce Lukie, and Tio Joey celebrating Daddy's 40th Birthday

Where the Heck are Gracie and Lukie?

Oh, stop! Have you really been asking that question? Really?

Some of you actually have. To be honest, we've been right here. I've thought almost every day about coming to update, but honestly, I've been enjoying Gracie and Luke too much to take the time. I apologize for that. Prepare to be bombarded with news!

Item 1: Learning, Learning, Learning
Daycare, also known as preschool, has been a ton of fun lately. I can tell because the laundry I've been doing is full of dirt, finger paints, glue and feathers. We've received weekly reports on the Twinsies. Apparently, they sometimes remember their numbers, sometimes remember their shapes, and sometimes remember their colors. Which is weird, because they always remember them with me. Hmmmm. Performance anxiety? I don't know. We've also tried our hand at potty training. But let's face it. Gracie and Luke are just not ready. They think the potty is exciting, but unless someone runs them there, they will happily pee in their pants. Not fun. They like underwear, though, so we'll keep trying them on.


Item 2: Talking, Talking, Talking
I can remember when I wished Gracie and Luke could express themselves. I no longer need to wish for that. Both of them are very good at communicating (when they want to) and their vocabulary is changing like crazy. I've been a bit sad, actually. Other people's kids mispronounce things in cutsy ways. Not Gracie and Luke. The most exciting thing they mispronounce is "strawbaberries." Well, there is Lukie's pronunciation of anything with an "r" sound in it. For example: "dey-er" (there). They've gotten so good at talking, I thought I would interview them.


Item 3: Playing, Playing, Playing
During Spring Break, I took Gracie and Lukie to the park almost every day. It was great to get out and we tried to go to a different park each time. Some trips were more successful than others. I counted any trip where we got back into the car in one piece as a success. Of course, I noticed somethings while visiting the park: 1) Lukie only likes to play with Gracie, but at the park, he's a total loner. 2) Gracie could make friends with the meanest person on the planet and they'd smile and play with her for an hour.


Item 4: Singing, Singing, Singing
Just as their vocabulary has exploded, their singing has too. They have many songs memorized and love to sing. We do have to hear "Round and round" about 50 times when Gracie gets stuck on "The Wheels on the Bus". By far, the best is "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star." Gracie says, "Bup, a-bup the world so high..." Lukie likes to make up his own songs. Daddy and I sit there trying to translate. I'm afraid we just don't speak "Lukese." Although, yesterday, his song sounded like "A Fed-co," but then, how would he know about Fedco? They closed before Ed and I even got married. Here's their latest favorite. A song I sing just for them.


I have lots more to share, but I don't want to overwhelm you!

Today's Score: Twinsies 298 - Mommy and Daddy 0

They're winning.
How do I know?
They whine. They cry. They throw themselves on the floor. They run away.
They get what they want. Because it is easier that way.
I don't know how it got like this. We were doing really well. Then, it seemed like overnight our pleasant Twinsies turned into mean talking, hitting, whining, and generally unpleasant 2 year-olds.
Daddy and I have started to sound like the parents we never wanted to be. We yell, we threaten, we use time-out as a punishment instead of a time to step back. Everything is a battle and we are weary.

Just like with everything else in our lives, we know what we are supposed to do, we know what we are supposed to say and yet, we don't. Why is that? John Rosemond, in his book, Making the Terrible Twos Terrific, says that the battle we do now to establish our role as the parents and the Twinsies role as the children will have long lasting effects. In fact, he says that if we don't establish our role as the "alpha dog", if you will, then the Twinsies' teenage years will be the most horrific of experiences. He isn't talking about us beating them down to always do our will because they are scared of us. Rather, he is talking about them doing what we ask, behaving as we ask, because they know it is what they are expected to do.

So, I sit here now, weary, heartsick, and feeling beaten. Why does this have to be such a battle? Why can't they be good listeners? Why can't I find the right words to inspire them to listen to me? Why do I have to fail at every turn?

Because really, they aren't winning. We are all losing.

Changes

In October of last year, Gracie and Luke started attending day care at the child development center where Daddy was going to community college. At first, they did not care for it. Frankly, I wasn't excited about it either. I would have rather they stay home with Daddy or me. But, given that Daddy needed to go to class and he could not take care of 14 month-olds by himself, it was an acceptable alternative.

Throughout the aftermath of the fire, Daddy's extended stay in the hospital, and my teaching summer school, Gracie and Luke still attended the day care. There were several things that bothered me about some of the people there, but overall, Gracie and Luke were well cared for and were thriving. While it was not my ideal, it was a safe place for Gracie and Luke to grow and learn and we could afford it.

A few weeks ago, we received a letter from them telling us Gracie and Luke could not return. In light of the new State budget cuts, we no longer fit the program. At first, I panicked. What were we going to do? Daddy is still recovering and Gracie and Luke would go insane if they were kept inside or in our yard five days a week. Then, we realized that this was an opportunity for us to look for a new place for Gracie and Luke to play with friends and learn new things.

Don't get me wrong. I've written many times about how I wish I could stay at home. I also wish that Daddy or another family member close by were in a position to be their primary caregiver. That's just not in the cards for us. As an alternative, we need to find a place that will allow Gracie and Luke to be 2 year-olds: play, learn, and grow.

We researched a couple of places and quickly realized that having two 2 year-olds in day care is very expensive. Most places want to charge $750 per child per month. At that rate, we would not be able to afford our electricity, gas, water or groceries. Then, yesterday, Daddy happened to be paying attention while he was driving and saw something we have been looking at for 20+ years and never noticed: a Montessori school around the corner from Grandma and Grandpa's house.

In grad school, I studied Dr. Maria Montessori's educational plan and remembered it as being something positive for very young children. I went online to learn more about this particular school and found that they have been faithful to Dr. Montessori's teachings for over 20 years. Daddy went to visit the school today and found that it is indeed a wonderful place.

So, beginning a few days after their 2nd birthday, Gracie and Luke will have a new school with new friends and new experiences. The nice part? Daddy will be able to take them to Grandma and Grandpa's house in the morning for breakfast and getting dressed. Then, he and Grandma will walk them to school together.

I'm actually excited for them. The school looks like a very fun place to learn and be 2. Now, if only I could find a fun place for me to be 37.