Father's Day is for

Father's Day is for Daddy to teach his girl how to take care of her wheels.

Step Out Walk for Diabetes 2013

What a day this was! The day was cool and calm and Gracie walked four whole miles with Mom. I am so proud of Gracie for walking the entire way and not complaining one bit!

There were so many fun things to see at the diabetic walk including Star Wars characters. Mommy walk for the first time in several years and raised $375 all by herself. Daddy was proud of all of us for working so hard to have a wonderful day.

Gracie, Lukie, Daddy, Storm Trooper, cousins, and Tia Adris

Rebels

We are so hard core. We snuck in to see Daddy.

keeping positive despite set backs

As happens too often in our lives, Daddy is very, very ill. His kidney transplant a month ago went very well and he was home five days after the surgery. From there, all of his old issues reared their ugly heads and, this time, new ones cropped up as well. He is in the Intensive Care Unit for the 3rd time in 3 weeks.

In the beginning, Gracie and Luke were doing okay with Daddy being in the hospital. They knew that he was "with the doctors" and that he would be home soon. As the days and weeks drag on, they are acutely aware of his absence and their sense of security has been shaken. We've had meltdowns and screaming matches, hitting, kicking, biting, bad-listening, and defiance. It hurts my head just to write about it.

Tonight, after a particularly bad episode, the following conversation took place:

Gracie: "I don't like you, Mommy! You are mean."

Me: "I'm sorry you feel that way. The good news is, I'll always love you, no matter what."

Gracie: "No, Mommy! I don't like you and I'm going to runaway!"

Me: "Oh! Well, no matter where you go, I would always find you." (Even though, I wanted to say, I want to run away too!).

Gracie: "NO, MOMMY! I'M GOING TO RUN AWAY!"

Me: "And I will always find you."

There was silence in the back seat and then, a few minutes later, she said, tearfully, "Mommy, I don't want to run away."

Me: "I'm glad, Gracie. I don't want you to run away either."

Gracie: "Mommy, I won't runaway like Daddy. Did Daddy runaway from us?"

I SO almost lost it.

Me: "No, Gracie, Daddy did not runaway. He is very sick and has to stay with the doctors, but when he gets better he will come home. I promise Gracie. Daddy will come home."

Gracie: "Okay, Mommy. Daddy is coming home soon."

And all was right with the world for 5 minutes.

Come home, Daddy. We miss you.

Daddy and Tio Joey's Big Day

In about 12 hours, the day we have been waiting for will be here.  Tomorrow morning, Tio Joey will go into surgery so that the doctors can remove one of his kidneys.  That kidney will then be transplanted into Daddy.  It's a big, huge day for them tomorrow.

We've been very anxious, trying to catch up with lots of things, recording Daddy singing lullabies for Gracie and Lukie (apparently, I don't sing well enough), and trying to just enjoy one another.  The road to recovery is going to be long and difficult for Daddy and we wanted to make sure to get as much in as we possibly could.

But tonight, in preparation for the big surgery, we celebrate Tio Joey.  He has gone through so much to make tomorrow possible.  He's changed his diet, lost 35 pounds (weight we did not think he had to lose), and spent hours traveling to see doctors for test after test.  He never hesitated when Daddy asked if he would be tested;  none of the tios hesitated.  They all volunteered to give Daddy a kidney.  That amount of love cannot be quantified here or anywhere.  They are simply amazing.

So tonight, we want to say "thank you" to Tio Joey for giving our Daddy a second chance at a good life with us.  We love you, Tio Joey!

Tio Freddy, Daddy, a fierce Lukie, and Tio Joey celebrating Daddy's 40th Birthday

A Countdown and A Plea

In 6 days, Daddy and Tio Joey have their big surgery.  Early in the morning, September 15th, Tio Joey will be donating one of his kidneys to Daddy.  We've been counting down the days for a long time and now that it is almost here, we are so excited!  Nervous, but SO excited.

Daddy is already thinking ahead to after the surgery.  In October, we will be participating again in Step Out to Fight Diabetes, the annual walk in Santa Clarita to raise money to find a cure for diabetes.  Daddy's fight against diabetes has been long and hard.  Diabetes has gotten in some pretty good hits against Daddy, but he is not down and out yet.

Usually, by now, Daddy's team has raised a lot of money, but this year, donations are down.  He has a personal goal of $3000 and he's only raised $175.  It is so sad to see that number and know that in the past he was able to encourage more people to donate.  We are hoping to encourage everyone who reads our blog to Step Up and help us fight diabetes by sponsoring Daddy and his amazing brother, Joel.  You can sponsor, Daddy or Team O.L.E. (One Legged Ed).  Or, you could even join our team!  We'd love to have you AND you'll get a cool shirt.

To donate in Daddy's name, click here.  Please help!  Every penny counts!  Thank you!

Without Pictures

Every moment with Gracie and Luke requires a camera.  My camera, however, is often not to be found.  There have been many moments this week I wish I had captured, because they are amazing memories I really do not want to forget.

This week, Gracie started wearing big girl undies at school.  She is incredibly cute in them.  She loves looking at Hello Kitty and friends.  While we are very excited for her, I'm not entirely sure she is ready.  She has been a little stressed out, does not like being asked if she needs to go potty, and will not nap (I think she's afraid to have an accident while she's asleep).  She especially does not like pooping in the toilet.  Frankly, it scares her.  She'd much rather go in a diaper or Pull-Up.  She has been uncharacteristically on edge this week and I'm a bit worried that we are pushing her too soon.  Her teachers seem to think she is definitely ready.  I plan to keep an eye on her this week and make a decision about whether or not to continue.  The last thing I want is for her to be anxious about  wearing panties.

This week also heralded the beginning of my work at Summer School.  There have been many late nights and it has made the smiles, hugs, and "I love yous" all the more wonderful.  I wish I could be at home with them more and I'm hoping things even out soon.  Yesterday, we spent time together, Gracie, Lukie, and I, painting with watercolors.  We painted on paper for quite sometime until Lukie decided he wanted a different canvas.  "Look at me, Mommy!  I painted my toes!"  Sure enough, he had used the black and blue water color paint to paint all 10 of his toes.  He asked me if I wanted my toes painted too, but I declined.  Gracie, however, could not wait for her toes to be painted.  Lukie obliged and the two of them ran around the porch giggling and shouting, "Look at my toes!"  Again, another moment a camera would have been handy!

Then, there was the day my little boy was a very BIG help to his Daddy.  My dresser did not fare well moving from our house to our temporary abode and back.  It was from IKEA and as much as I love them, the dresser was not built to withstand all of that moving.  Daddy had Tio Joey and Tio Freddy move the dresser out to our car port and Thursday, Lukie and Daddy carefully took it apart.  Daddy only had to show Lukie how to use the screwdriver once.  After that, he was a pro.  He disassembled the dresser drawers and actually lifted the wood up into the trashcan all by himself.  When Daddy told me about it, he had such pride in his face.  I thought he would burst with it.  I wish I had video of Lukie lifting those heavy pieces of wood into the trashcan.  He keeps telling me that he is Superman. I suspect this is the only chance I will have to see him in action!

For quite some time now, Gracie and Lukie have been talking up a storm. I have no idea how many words they each can speak, I just know that I can hardly keep up with them.  Gracie loves to tell me stories.  Some of them are memories of things she's lived and others are completely figments of her imagination.  Here's the story she told me the other day on the way to Abue Rosi's house:

"Mommy, I took my puppy for a walk, but he didn't eat the pizza.  I told him: 'No puppy, don't eat that pizza.' and then he walked down the street and we said 'hi' to the giraffe, but he didn't eat the pizza either.  And we saw the chickens and they tried to walk with us and I said: 'No chickens!  No eating the pizza!'  Mommy, those chickens are silly.  They shouldn't eat pizza!  They should eat bread.  Can we get some break for the chickens, Mommy?"

I sat in stunned silence listening to that story.  I had no idea what to make of it, no idea what is from actual experience and what the heck is totally made up.  All I know is that she was very excited about her story and repeated it again.  Another time, my camera would have been helpful.

*Sigh.*

I just wish I could remember to bring it in from the car.

Little Helpers?

Gracie and Lukie love to help. When they are at their craziest, all you need to do is say, "Gracie and Lukie! I need your help!" and they'll come running.

After some crazy behavior during a brief shopping expedition, Daddy decided Gracie and Lukie could "help" him wash his scooter and his car. He made a good effort getting everything set up and had a good chance of keeping them occupied. He had lots of things on his side:
1) water (always a happy thing for Gracie and Luke)
2) bubbles (seriously one of their favorite things)
3) something they could clean at their level

They had a blast! Look at our little helpers go!

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity Jig

Daddy's home!  All of his tests came back negative and his doctors took very good care to test everything possible.  They think the chest pain and pressure he had was due to a strained muscle from a fall he had last week combined with his use of crutches. They believe he will be completely fine in a week or two.

Daddy came home Friday night.  He's had a few rough days with some nausea, but seems to be much better this morning. Gracie and Lukie are totally happy to have their daddy home.  They dog piled on him yesterday morning when they found him in our bed and keep talking about him to me.

We may have been fine on our own for a few days, but we definitely need him around us.  We miss him when he is gone.

Back in the hospital he goes

Daddy is in the hospital again.  He was having chest pains yesterday and was taken by ambulance to the ER.  So far, he is fine, but the pressure isn't going away.  He's had several tests which have come back normal and is having a procedure this morning to check and see if there are any blockages in his arteries.

I was expecting Gracie and Luke to be a mess last night and in some ways they were.  But for the majority of the time, the three of us were fine.  I don't know if I should be happy about that or sad.

Anyway, we are hoping Daddy will be home today or tomorrow and feeling much better.  Please keep him in your prayers.

The challenge of having a Daddy with health problems

For most of the time Gracie and Luke have been alive, Daddy has been sick or laid up because of his leg.  There is something poignant about 2 year-olds understanding that Daddy has to go to the doctor every Saturday.  They are especially protective of their Daddy.  They ask him if he is okay,

"Are you okay, Papa?  Okay?  Okay." is heard often around here.

This week, Daddy started to develop a problem with his short leg.  All of a sudden, he developed a huge pocket of fluid on his knee.  The doctors say that they could drain it, but are worried about infection.  Instead of getting smaller, it keeps getting bigger and bigger.  It has gotten so big, that he can't put his prosthetic on.  He's been getting around the house using his wheelchair and, until Friday, was getting to and from his car using his crutches. 

Friday, Ed picked up Gracie and Lukie from school.  He used his crutches to get inside and one of the teachers helped him get Gracie and Luke into the car and secured.  When they arrived home, he got Gracie out of the van and started around the front of the van to get Lukie out of the other side.  Somehow, he lost his balance and fell hard onto the ground.  He lay under our carport, hidden from the street by the van, hurt and wondering how he was going to get up.  Gracie was upset and came to check on him. 

When she realized that he could not get up, she came into the house to look for me.  I wasn't there, in fact, I was more than 25 minutes away.  For some reason, she grabbed a phone and brought it to him, "You call Momma, Papa."  Every time, I think of this, I just want to hug her.  She knew Daddy was in trouble and she knew Mommy could help.  Ed's cell phone, usually in his pocket, is across the country being fixed, so having that phone was critical. 

The rest of the story is pretty boring.  Daddy called me, we both started calling every number we had of people who live close to us.  Finally, someone at the guard shack answered the phone and called our neighbor, Linda.  Linda came next door and helped Daddy into a chair.  She let a crying, screaming Lukie out of the van and got Gracie and Lukie to go into the backyard where they could play safely until I could get home. 

Daddy and I are so lucky to have Twinsies who are so aware of his condition and are so smart to figure out how to find help.  I hate that they have to be aware of Daddy's sickness and his frailty.  However, I am proud of them both for being so very giving and caring.

Why Daddy (the chef) should not be allowed in the kitchen alone

Your Life Flashes Before Your Eyes

We all have them; our worst nightmare. They vary from person to person. Some are afraid of speaking in public. Some are afraid of driving on the freeway or tripping and falling in front of a group of strangers.

When you are a father of toddlers and are disabled, your nightmares and worries are many. You worry that you will fall and not be able to get up on your own, scaring your children. You worry that that you will drop one of them or not be able to pick them up because your own balance is off.

The worst nightmare for a disabled father is that one or both of your children will run from you into danger. This is Daddy's nightmare. He worries that it will happen constantly. Friday, it happened.

Daddy picks up Gracie and Lukie from day care every day. Occasionally, Grandma or I will pick them up, but mostly, it is Daddy. The day care has fences enclosing the playgrounds and the walkways from classroom to classroom. Surrounding it, though, is a vast parking lot for the attached church. The parking lot is bordered by a small side street and a large, very busy boulevard.

Usually, Gracie and Lukie listened to Daddy carefully. A simple statement of "Help Daddy, please," elicits an immediate and proper response. They hold his hand, walk with him, go to the car and wait.

But Friday, for whatever reason, Gracie decided that she wanted to run. The moment they left the gate from the day care, Gracie took off running across the parking lot. Her path was unerringly toward the huge, busy boulevard. Daddy yelled for her to stop, walked as fast as he could, across the parking lot, calling again and again for her to come back. Lukie tried to get her to stop, too, but Gracie wasn't interested. She just kept running full out toward the busy street.

When Daddy called me, several minutes later, he was crying and incredibly upset. He was having a hard time breathing, both from his effort to catch up with Gracie and the terror he experienced thinking she was going to run out in front of a car. It took me a long time to help him calm down, the terror was still too fresh.

I know how he felt though. When you are in a situation like that and one of your children is rushing head first into danger, their whole life flashes before your eyes. You see them as tiny babies and remember them when they actually listened. You see their smile and their laughter. And all you want to do is stop them so that you can have more smiles, more laughter, and more hugs.

Daddy is still reeling from Friday's events. He was reminded in a huge way about his limitations and how they can and will be tested by toddlers. While he already has plans for how he will get the Twinsies to the car safely in the future, I know that the experience is never far from his thoughts. He holds Gracie and Lukie closer and is working harder at helping them know the limits.

The nightmare can still become reality again. Hopefully, though, it will not be any time soon.

Our Newest Lullaby

Every night, Daddy sings Gracie and Luke to sleep. They crawl into bed, let me tuck them in, and out I go, turning out the light as I leave. Daddy remains to sing to them.

Usually, Daddy sings Spanish songs his mother sang to him when he was little. One is about an elephant sitting on a spider web. I know, I have no idea what that means either! The other song is a nonsense song about going to sleep. Occasionally, Daddy changes things up by taking requests:

"One sheepy, two sheepies, three sheepies..." He counts sheep for them.

"Twinkle star, Papa?" He sings Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star for Gracie (when he remembers the words).

Now that the Christmas season is here, a new song has been added to his repertoire. Tonight, I sat outside their room and listened to him sing "Silent Night." He doesn't always remember the words, but his voice is calming and sleep-inducing. Better yet, it helps Gracie and Luke fall asleep.

What songs do you sing to your children at night?

Finally, A Family Portrait

For quite some time, I've wanted to have a family portrait done. There are very few pictures of me with the Twinsies and only two of Daddy, the Twinsies and me. The last time we had Gracie and Lukie's pictures taken, we went to Sears. Actually, the last two times we had their pictures taken, we went to Sears. The first trip was easier than the second. There's something hard about walking 13 month olds and trying to take pictures.

This time, we went to a different place. A Place That Will-Not-Be-Named. Our experience there was terrible. Part of the reason was the horrible traffic caused by everyone and their duck driving out of town for Thanksgiving, making us 30 minutes late for our appointment and reaching into the "I don't want to listen right now" part of our evening. Part of the reason was that Gracie and Lukie wanted to run around. And, part of the reason was that our photographer would not take a picture unless everyone was smiling. Dude! Two year-olds don't smile all the time. Get over it! I have.

Long story short, I needed an alcoholic beverage after the thing was over. For all the trauma we went through, there were only 10 usable pictures. Here are 3 of them:

Mommy, Daddy, Gracie and Lukie

Lukie and Mommy

Gracie and Daddy

While we were waiting for our pictures to print, we went to Red Robin and had french fries and other dippable foods. I had an iced tea instead of the Pina Colada I was craving.

I don't think we will be going to have our pictures taken again any time soon.

Reunion

I haven't written much of late. Primarily because we've been in a state of upheaval. Last Tuesday, Daddy was admitted to the hospital with a very high fever. They kept him until today. He had lots of I.V. antibiotics, watched a lot of movies, and was generally bored.

While he was gone, my job was to keep the home fires burning. Suddenly, I had to get Gracie and Luke ready to go to Grandma and Grandpa's house in the morning. I had to get their clothes ready and their lunches ready. I had to make sure they took their baths and I read them books. And I had to sing them to sleep every night. My workload suddenly doubled and I had flashbacks to six months ago when Gracie, Lukie, and I lived on our own for 5 months while Daddy was very sick in the hospital.

We survived the past week and while we could continue doing this a bit longer, we are all happy to have Daddy home.

Tonight, we were so happy, that we baked cookies with the dough that Mrs. Shaw made for all the faculty and staff today. We now have a dozen chocolate chip cookies and blissfully ate 1/3 of them before bath.

Gracie and Lukie cuddled with Daddy on the sofa and ate their cookies.

Wait, look closer and you'll see:

What is in these things? They are so good!

Lukie's cookie became a smushed mess, but he didn't seem to mind.

We are so happy to have Daddy home! Stay well, Sweet Papa!

Even Lukie Knows What He Likes

On Sunday, Daddy looked like this:


Yesterday, he was holding Lukie and they were talking.  Suddenly, Lukie put his hand on Daddy's face and rubbed it on his cheek.

"Uckies, Papa!  Uckies!" he said.

Daddy realized that I wasn't exaggerating when I said he really needed to shave.  If your son thinks you have "uckies" on your face, it is definitely time to shave!

So Daddy went right home and is now nicely clean shaven. 

Except for a goatee.

Which he thinks he needs for his Halloween costume.

I can't wait to see what Lukie thinks of that one!

We did it!

Thanks to everyone who came together in an amazing show of support, Daddy not only reached his goal of $2000, he surpassed it. As of the time of this post, he has $2201 and there is more money coming in today. We are very excited about going over our goal and thank everyone for playing a part in making it possible.

Gracie and Luke had a lot of fun the morning of the Walk, but it went downhill pretty fast from there. We started by playing with Bianca and Brandon. Gracie and Luke ran all over the grass and spent some time throwing wood chips and going down the slides. Gracie and Luke were beside themselves that Bianca and Brandon were there. All I kept hearing was "Byanca" and "Branyon!" The day could have ended there. They loved playing hard with their cousins.

Too soon, it was time to get things started. I snagged Gracie and Luke and made sure that everyone knew who they were walking for. We listened to people talk about how diabetes has effected their lives and Rick Chambers from Channel 4 News reminded us how important our walking was to everyone.

Gracie and Luke were not excited to be hanging out with me and Aunt Bec instead of playing with Bianca and Brandon, however, I quickly busted out the Goldfish crackers and all was well.

By the way, see that bow in Gracie's hair? It's the same bow she wore for her 1st birthday party. It's the what all the cool Bear's fans are wearing this year!

A few minutes later, we were off! Somehow we got separated from the rest of Team Uribe, but Aunt Bec stuck with Gracie, Lukie and me even though she was super sick and probably should have stayed at home. It is a sign of her love for Daddy that she came even though she wanted to die because she felt so awful. Aunt Bec, you rock. Next year, it's okay to stay home if you are sickie-poo. We don't want you to get a super-bug because of us!

Aunt Bec pulling Gracie and Luke in the wagon. Other than the people cleaning up the balloons, etc, we were THE end of the Walk.

Lukie and Gracie decided fairly early on that they did not want to stay in the wagon. About 1.3 miles into the Walk, Lukie took a header into the cement.

See the bump on his forehead? And the boogies running down his face?

The boogies remained for the rest of the day.

As did the crying.

As did Mommy and Aunt Bec carrying Twinsies.

See? This was before he fell!

After Gracie, Lukie and I were the LAST people across the finish line, I let them loose. They ate the one hot dog and hamburger left by the time we got to the end and then they played!

Someone thought it was smart to pour ice all over the ground.

Clearly, they did not think that toddlers might think it was okay to eat the ice on the ground.

Friends played for 45 minutes walking on the ice and chasing each other across it!

Finally, some happy smiles.

But no naps.

Not like I might want to take one.

No, why would I want that?!

a dollar for our daddy

I met Daddy a few days before his 18th birthday. He was ginormous! He was 6 foot 3 inches tall and weighed close to 250 pounds. I told him within hours of meeting him that I wouldn't want to meet him in a dark alley.

We started dating a month later and I had the distinct pleasure of watching him play football. He was awesome. He was a tank. It was beyond cool!

But something happened a few months into 1989. He started to lose weight. He went from 250 pounds to under 180. He was close to becoming skin and bones. It was a scary. He had no idea what was wrong. Neither did his doctors. For months, they tested him for different things and could not figure out what was happening.

Then, one day, he became so sick that he was hospitalized. His friend, Joe's, mom after hearing all of his symptoms asked a question that would change Daddy's life forever: "Have they tested for diabetes?"

Joe's mom, Ida, had lived with Type I diabetes her entire life and the symptoms Daddy had were very much like the symptoms she experienced when her diabetes was not under control. Sure enough, a blood test confirmed that Daddy's blood glucose level was over 600. His doctor told him that he should have been in a coma. We were all stunned. There was no history of diabetes in Daddy's family, at least not Type I. To Daddy, it was like a death sentence. No more football, no more real life.

I won't share more of Daddy's story. It's really his to share. Needless to say, he lived his life as if he was invincible and diabetes couldn't hurt him. If he could go back and change his behavior, I know he would do it in a heartbeat. Those years of not taking care of himself have resulted in major health problems today.

A few years ago, before Gracie and Luke were even imagined, Daddy started walking in the America's Walk for Diabetes. The Walk raises money for the American Diabetic Association. The ADA uses the money to help search for a cure for diabetes. Over the past 4 years, he and his team have raised over $10,000 for diabetes research.

This weekend is the big weekend. Step Out for Diabetes Walk is Sunday in Santa Clarita. This year, our team is small. This year, people have fewer funds to share and Daddy is very far from his goal. He lowered it this year, because he knew people would not be able to help as much as in the past. His goal is to raise $2000. So far, he has raised only 61% of that amount.

So here's the thing: He only needs $784 to reach his goal. If you read this and his story touches you in any way or if you know of someone whose life has been affected by diabetes, will you please help? Any amount will do. Maybe you will be the person who adds $4 to decrease the amount he needs to $780 or maybe you'll decide to be the person who adds $34 to decrease it to $750. It doesn't matter. Every amount is welcome.

Will you help? Click here to visit his sponsorship page.

Oh, and if you are free, come Step Out with us this Sunday. Gracie and Lukie will be walking, too (until they get bored and want to be held...at the same time...by me).

UPDATE: Thank you to everyone! Daddy only has $289 more to raise. If you can, won't you please help?!

Buzzin' Bees in the Backyard

I was making dinner Wednesday night, when I heard serious giggling coming from the backyard. I also heard a buzzing sound. Curious, I went out to investigate and found this:

Daddy is great at entertaining Gracie and Luke.

They blow wishes into the wind.

Explore the scenery.

Play games.


Get dirty. This is a requirement every day.
And refuse to smile. Seriously, why would anyone want a picture of Lukie smiling?!?