Mommy Enginuity

While I completely love our inflatable pool, I very much dislike the amount of time it takes to pump air into the darn thing.  It takes 30 minutes with the electric air pump and that is annoying.  The day before their birthday, Gracie and Lukie and I were lamenting how hot it was (okay, I was lamenting, they were playing) and they begged me to put the pool out.  Not willing to go to all the trouble, I came up with a MacGyver-esque solution.



Thankfully, they loved it!

And tomorrow, the world changes

This night, 3 years ago, I lay in my bed at Huntington Hospital knowing that it was my last night alone. The next day, Dr. Hartford planned to deliver Hermie and Iggy and I remember laying there overwhelmed with it all. Twelve weeks I had been in that bed, twelve weeks of tears, worry, anger, joy, loneliness. I was so ready for them to be born, anxious to be out of the hospital and to meet the two creatures who had been doing somersaults in my belly for so long.

I've been thinking back to that night a lot lately. I was so wired, I could not sleep so they gave me Benedryl and Ambien. I kept the TV on for a while in hopes it would lull me to sleep. A few days later, I would not be able to sleep for other reasons, but as I think back on that night, I realize I was an entirely different person.

Someone, no one I know, once said that you don't truly become a woman until you become a mother. I scoff at this every time I hear it said again. What a ridiculous statement! But I now realize, that for me, it was absolutely true. I was still an immature person. I may have been 35, but I was not an adult. I did not truly become one until I sat there next to my too too tiny babies and watched them fight for breaths in the NICU. The night before they were born, I just wanted them born for selfish reasons. I was tired. I was done. I wanted out. I wanted to meet them. When I eventually got to be there with them in the NICU, I felt like the worst person on the planet and kept saying over and over again that I should have fought to keep them in my belly a bit longer.

I've been looking at pictures and videos of them often over the past few days. They are not babies and it makes me so sad. I hate to even call them toddlers. They don't "toddle." They run. They jump. They wrestle. They fight. They sing. They love.

I am so scared to see them grow up. I am worried that they won't want to cuddle with me or want to share hugs and kisses. I am worried because I know this can't be this wonderful forever (despite all of the crazy 3-year old drama they are inflicting on us).

I guess I'm just going to have to record every moment in my memory and remember that this won't last forever. So today, as they spent their last day as 2 year olds, we baked birthday cupcakes and I let them frost every one, no matter how many times they put their butter knife into their mouths and then into the frosting. We went to Target and had ICEEs and I rigged the hose so that it dribbled water onto their slide so that they could have their very own water slide. We rolled around on the floor and giggled because Lukie had a seriously stinky booty and he wouldn't let me change his Pull-Up. We shared kisses and hugs and made up songs.

What a such a wonderful way to celebrate the last day of being 2! I shall never forget it.

Seriously Un-Cool

Tiny Town is closed.

What? Why? The Horror!

I just discovered it and now it is gone. I can only blame the Recession and the owner of the building who no doubt raised the rent or some anonymous parent who sued them and bankrupted them. Who knows what happened?

We are devastated. We had to talk about it all the way home.

"Mommy, Tiny Town is closed?"

"Yes, Gracie."

"Forever, Mommy?"

"Yes, closed forever, Lukie."

"Why is it closed, Mommy?"

"I don't know, Gracie."

"Did they go somewhere, Mommy?"

"I don't think so, Lukie. They just closed."

"Oh, no, Mommy! No more jumpies!"

"I know, Love. It will be okay."

"But Mommy, where are the jumpies?"

"Mommy, can we play at Tiny Town?"

"No, sweetheart, they are closed."

"Forever?"

"Yes, forever."

Silence.

"Mommy, can we go to Old McDonalds?"

"And get chicken nuggets and trench tries?"

"Yeah! And play on the climbing thing and go down the slide?!"

"I'm going to have dip with my chicken nuggets."

"Me, too!"


Maybe they won't miss Tiny Town as much as I will, after all.

Things heard in the bathtub

"The dog was afraid of the water!  The DOG was a-FRAID of the WATER! The DAAAWWWG was afraid of the WAAATER! And then he ran AWAY!"

"Lukie, no splashing Mommy. You'll get her all wet!"
"Gwacie, I can get Mommy wet.  Daddy said I could."

"Twinkle, Twinkle Chicken Nugget!  How I wonder how you NUGGET!"

"Mommy, I want to watch the movie with the mean lizards and the cow with the horns and the cow is dead! And the mean lizards try to eat the babies."

"Mommy, Gwacie threw water on me."
"Then don't throw water on Gracie, Lucas."
"But I have to throw water on Gracie."
"Why?"
"Because I have to!"

"The doggie on the bus goes round and round, round and round.  The doggie on the bus goes round and round, all through the town."

Well, who'da thunk it?

The message about eating seems to have been heard loud and clear. Ever since Gracie and Luke refused to eat and we put them to bed without letting them have any more food, they have eaten almost everything we've put in front of them. We've limited snacks and limited television when they get home from pre-school and that has really helped.

I know I joked about it in the last post, but I did read the BabyCenter.com article on finicky eaters and learned some interesting things. Two things really resonated with me: 1) portion size and 2) the amount of choices we give them. I started paying attention to how much food we were putting on their plates and it was HUGE. It might be the right amount for an adult, but it was enough for at least 3 toddlers. It was the first change I made. We started putting less of each food item on their plates two nights ago and have had real success with them finishing more. The other thing, which is contrary to everything we were told a year ago, is to give them fewer choices on their plates.

Fewer? They just told us to give them lots of things to choose from!

This parenting thing can get super confusing. The article says that some kids can't choose when given too many items on their plates. This is an argument reflected by John Rosemond about toys. His has stated that when children have too many toys, they don't play with any of them because it is so overwhelming. It makes sense, but so did the "give them lots of things to choose from" argument.

We tried that on Tuesday night with lots of success. I bought a roasted chicken from the store and served it with raw broccoli and ranch dip. It was devoured! When they started playing, I reminded them that if they wanted to play that dinner was over. They both sat right back down to finish their food.

On Wednesday, Daddy made dinner and got a little excited with the food choices. They finished some of the food, but not all of it, and left a lot of food. When they started getting up and playing instead of eating their dinner, we declared dinner over and had them take their plates to the kitchen. We told them that if they asked for more food, they could finish their dinners, and left the plates for them to come back to. An hour later, Gracie and Lukie started asking for apples and I reminded them about their dinner. They switched to asking for cookies and again, I reminded them about their dinner. They did not like this at all. I did eventually let them each have one cookie once they had their jammies on, but limited it to just one despite repeated requests. We will try going back to less food and fewer choices tonight. I'm really thinking that less is the key here.

We've had some definite steps forward and I feel inspired to continue begin stricter with them about food.

Eat or don't. It's up to you, kid.

There are picky eaters in the world.  Many of them.  I just never thought my kids would be some of them.  When it was just Gracie, Lukie, and me in the apartment last year, they would eat most everything I put in front of them with some exceptions. Recently, however, they have really been testing my patience.

Things Gracie will eat:
turkey, cheese, crackers
chicken, green beans, and noodles from Panda Express
bacon
pizza
plain chicken
cheese
yogurt

and, sometimes, she'll eat:
apples
lettuce
quesadillas
carrots
cookies
milk/chocolate milk
corn
melon
bread
tomato

Lukie will pretty much eat anything we put in front of him, except when he decides he doesn't want to.  Yeah.  He's fun like that.

We don't really have any control over lunch at day care.  We have them help us make their lunches, but when they are at school, they eat only what they want to.  All of the rest of their food comes home in their lunch boxes.  Of course, it would be great if we would make them eat what was left over, but not very safe given it hasn't been in the refrigerator.  Dinner has been the real challenge.  We make dinner.  We put it on their fun plates.  Lukie will eat most of it, especially if it has meat and noodles or meat and rice.  Gracie...She pushes it around and refuses to eat.  Then, she'll ask for crackers or cheese an hour later.

A couple of nights ago, I had enough.  I resolved to let them go hungry if they would not eat what we put in front of them.  So, last night, Gracie said she wanted turkey, cheese, and crackers and Lukie agreed.  I made each of them turkey, cheese, crackers, and added some sliced tomatoes and carrots. 

To say that they ate little of it is an overstatement.  Gracie threw her cheese at Lukie and said that she didn't want it.  Neither of them ate the turkey.  Lukie ate some of his tomatoes and that was it.  Daddy and I told them that they either at their dinner or they would go to bed.  Lukie turned his plate over and dropped his food on the floor.  So, that was it.  At 5:15 pm, they went into the bath tub, and were in their room, in their jammies, at 5:45 pm.  Daddy and I read a few books to them and, then, at 6:30 pm, the lights went off.  There was a lot of crying and kicking of feet, requests for bananas, etc., but Daddy held firm.  They were asleep a little while later and, thankfully, slept through the night.

This morning, they had cereal and when they started to play instead of eat, I asked if they were done and reminded them that if they did not eat their cereal, there was nothing else to eat.  This got them both to sit down and finish a little more.  I don't expect it to be super easy, but I'm sticking with this method.  I thought about trying something flashy and fun to get them to eat, but why?  If you don't eat what we make, then you don't eat.  It's a simple equation, one that Gracie and Lukie need to learn quickly.

Here's something funny:  I started this post about two hours ago and just got an email from BabyCenter.com about finicky eaters.  Let's see if the "experts" can help with the issue.

Our First Trip to the Library

On Friday, I planned a special trip for Gracie and Luke. We have a number of books at home, but we've read them all. Multiple times. Gracie and Lukie love, LOVE, to read and so I decided to take them to the library. When I picked them up from school, we talked about the library and what we would get to do there; how to use quiet voices and how many books we could bring home. In hindsight, I'm very glad that I had that conversation with them. Otherwise we would have brought home about 20 books!

Gracie was at home from the moment we arrived. In fact, if Lukie hadn't needed a diaper change, I suspect Gracie could have sat at her little table for an hour or more. She loved looking at the books and sitting at the table in the Children's section. I think she read 5 books in the 15 minutes we were there.



Alas, Lukie did need a diaper change, rather badly as it turned out, so we walked to the counter and they each put their book up for the librarian to scan. They were so excited! We will definitely be going back soon!

Lukie and the Flamin' Hot Cheetos

Clearly, Lucas is his father's son. Daddy used to search for the hottest salsas and peppers. He once ate a fresh habanero pepper like it was candy. He has issues with heat. He likes his food hot, hot, hot!

That's not to say that I don't like my food spicy, too! One of my favorite snacks is Flamin' Hot Cheetos. When I first started eating them, years ago, they were so spicy, I had to keep milk nearby to cut the heat. When I was pregnant with Gracie and Lukie, they were one of the few chip flavors in the vending machines at the hospital. I would buy a Dr. Pepper and a bag of Flamin' Hot Cheetos. I was a happy girl (despite being stuck in the hospital).

Lucas has inherited our love for spicy foods. His current favorite, like mine, is Flamin' Hot Cheetos. Recently, we were at the park and he snagged a bag from my backpack.

And the P/Ting hits a snag...

I always knew that Gracie would be the first one to start potty training. When she was 4 months old, she started to hit developmental milestones a few weeks before Lucas. Since then, she seems to do things first and Lukie is a few days or weeks behind.

That the teachers told us she was ready for panties came as a bit of a surprise, but I did not question them. Unfortunately, they spend more time with her than I get to, so they had a better idea of her readiness. Apparently, she has been doing very well at school. She comes home dry and wearing the same panties we sent her in (well, except one day). She does well with Abue Rosi and going to the potty there.

It's using the bathroom at home that is not going well.

Gracie absolutely does not like me reminding her about going to the bathroom. She doesn't want me asking, doesn't want me telling her to go, and certainly will not admit that she needs to go. I'll ask her gently, "Gracie, do you need to go potty in the toilet?" "Gracie, remember, there's a bathroom in this store. Let me know if you need to go and I'll take you!" "Gracie, hold the potty in your vagina until you get to the bathroom." (P.S. I know it isn't in her vagina. It is just easier to explain it to her that way.)

We are engaged in an epic battle: Mommy versus the Independent "I don't need to go potty" Toddler. She'll let me win once or twice a day, when she wants to. Here's the kicker. She lets me win a little. She will get on the toilet sprinkle a bit and announce "I did it!" She'll jump off the toilet and declare herself done. Only, she isn't done. She pees only a little and holds the rest. By midday, she can't hold it any longer and pees. Not in the toilet, she pees all over herself, her panties, the carpet, the floor, or whatever surface she happens to be on at the moment. All in the name of being in control of her own body.

And, I get it. Do I like the fact that she would rather have an accident than admit that she needs to use the restroom? No. Do I like that she is holding her urine inside her body rather than do what I ask her to do? Absolutely not. It worries me on several levels. Her body can't take holding it in and nothing good will come of it if we let this continue.

Last Sunday, for example, we went through 4 pair of panties and two outfits. I was at a loss and I couldn't take it any more. Gracie was getting more and more stubborn by the second. She absolutely would not go to the bathroom and hid in the corner to poop in her panties.

So, I buckled and I put Gracie back into Pull-Ups. For those few hours, I did not have to worry about the couch getting peed on or washing the Fancy Nancy shoes for a fourth time. And for those few hours, I thought constantly about how I had failed Gracie. Yes, failed. I'm the adult and as such, it falls to me to be patient and creative, to teach her how to work through asserting her independence and still being a big girl who uses the toilet. It was a very low day in my history as a Mom and I went to bed that night thinking that I had ruined potty training.

The week has continued to be a struggle, but Gracie and I seem to have come to a truce of sorts. I've discovered that you can't ask her if she needs to got to the bathroom or even ask her if she wants to. She'll always say no. However, there is a way that works and makes both of us happy. She still gets to be independent and I have figured out a creative way to get her to go to the bathroom even when she doesn't want to. You see, I announce that I have to go to the bathroom and I ask Gracie to go with me. I tell her that I would like a friend to go with me and she will hold my hand and walk me there. About 90% of the time, she'll tell me, once we close the door, that she will go first and then I can go. I never ask if she needs to go and never suggest it. Instead, getting her into the room gives her the choice to decide to use the bathroom or not. It has really worked well when we are at home and it worked great at the Zoo today. Whatever distraction I can make that gets her into the room seems to work. A small victory, but one I can appreciate.

By the way, I am totally aware that no one really cares to read about the poop issues of my children. However, this blog is my way of recording our struggles so that one day, when my memories are dim and I can't recall my name, I can point to this recorded history and say, "Here you go, kiddos!"

Oh, and there is one side benefit to all this struggle. My sisters, especially Auntie Ten Ten, have assured me that this whole struggle is really a bonding experience for Gracie and me. The more we struggle, the more Gracie and I are forming a stronger relationship. And they are right! Gracie has been much more affectionate and slightly clingy (clingy in a good way). For example, she wants me to hold her hand when we walk places. She was my Zoo buddy today, holding my hand and telling me that she loves me a lot. She wants to know where I am and what I am doing. At the same time, she is gaining confidence. She believes in herself and knows she is becoming a big girl.

So, we have hit this little snag, but I'm hoping we've made some progress and have some strategies in place for adapting. I'm hanging in there and I hope Gracie can, too.

Let's talk about potty

I've come to the conclusion that I am the reason my daughter is stressed out about the potty.  I am forever after her:
"Gracie, do you have to go potty in the toilet?  Where do you go potty?  Do you go potty on your panties?  No, where do you go potty?"

I stress her out.  There's no doubt about it.  I know this because she had a fantastic day with Abue Rosi.  In fact, Gracie and Lukie had a fantastic potty training day.  They both wore underwear (well, Lukie wore Gracie's pajama bottoms as underwear, but don't tell him that) and ran to the bathroom all by themselves.  When they are with me, they pee on the couch, on the carpet, on their clothes.  It sucks and it makes me want to put a Pull-Up on them.

Add to that my determination to teach my son to pee in the toilet sitting down.  He has horrific aim and I am not interested in scrubbing a toilet free of boy urine.  I'm just not.  I've read several opinions and almost all of them agree that boys need to be taught to pee sitting down.  Why?  Because they forget they need to sit to poop.  Can you imagine him standing to pee only to...OOPS...poop on the floor???  Unfortunately, at Abue Rosi's house, all of the males pee standing up and Lukie wants to be like them.  Personally, I think it is incredibly foul to pee standing up.  There.  I said it.  It's totally disgusting.  I can just see the pee spraying all over.  Yuck!

It isn't really a battle, at least, I don't feel like I am engaged in one.  In the end, it will all work out.  No one goes to kindergarten in diapers. 

But with my luck, Gracie and Luke will be the first.

Without Pictures

Every moment with Gracie and Luke requires a camera.  My camera, however, is often not to be found.  There have been many moments this week I wish I had captured, because they are amazing memories I really do not want to forget.

This week, Gracie started wearing big girl undies at school.  She is incredibly cute in them.  She loves looking at Hello Kitty and friends.  While we are very excited for her, I'm not entirely sure she is ready.  She has been a little stressed out, does not like being asked if she needs to go potty, and will not nap (I think she's afraid to have an accident while she's asleep).  She especially does not like pooping in the toilet.  Frankly, it scares her.  She'd much rather go in a diaper or Pull-Up.  She has been uncharacteristically on edge this week and I'm a bit worried that we are pushing her too soon.  Her teachers seem to think she is definitely ready.  I plan to keep an eye on her this week and make a decision about whether or not to continue.  The last thing I want is for her to be anxious about  wearing panties.

This week also heralded the beginning of my work at Summer School.  There have been many late nights and it has made the smiles, hugs, and "I love yous" all the more wonderful.  I wish I could be at home with them more and I'm hoping things even out soon.  Yesterday, we spent time together, Gracie, Lukie, and I, painting with watercolors.  We painted on paper for quite sometime until Lukie decided he wanted a different canvas.  "Look at me, Mommy!  I painted my toes!"  Sure enough, he had used the black and blue water color paint to paint all 10 of his toes.  He asked me if I wanted my toes painted too, but I declined.  Gracie, however, could not wait for her toes to be painted.  Lukie obliged and the two of them ran around the porch giggling and shouting, "Look at my toes!"  Again, another moment a camera would have been handy!

Then, there was the day my little boy was a very BIG help to his Daddy.  My dresser did not fare well moving from our house to our temporary abode and back.  It was from IKEA and as much as I love them, the dresser was not built to withstand all of that moving.  Daddy had Tio Joey and Tio Freddy move the dresser out to our car port and Thursday, Lukie and Daddy carefully took it apart.  Daddy only had to show Lukie how to use the screwdriver once.  After that, he was a pro.  He disassembled the dresser drawers and actually lifted the wood up into the trashcan all by himself.  When Daddy told me about it, he had such pride in his face.  I thought he would burst with it.  I wish I had video of Lukie lifting those heavy pieces of wood into the trashcan.  He keeps telling me that he is Superman. I suspect this is the only chance I will have to see him in action!

For quite some time now, Gracie and Lukie have been talking up a storm. I have no idea how many words they each can speak, I just know that I can hardly keep up with them.  Gracie loves to tell me stories.  Some of them are memories of things she's lived and others are completely figments of her imagination.  Here's the story she told me the other day on the way to Abue Rosi's house:

"Mommy, I took my puppy for a walk, but he didn't eat the pizza.  I told him: 'No puppy, don't eat that pizza.' and then he walked down the street and we said 'hi' to the giraffe, but he didn't eat the pizza either.  And we saw the chickens and they tried to walk with us and I said: 'No chickens!  No eating the pizza!'  Mommy, those chickens are silly.  They shouldn't eat pizza!  They should eat bread.  Can we get some break for the chickens, Mommy?"

I sat in stunned silence listening to that story.  I had no idea what to make of it, no idea what is from actual experience and what the heck is totally made up.  All I know is that she was very excited about her story and repeated it again.  Another time, my camera would have been helpful.

*Sigh.*

I just wish I could remember to bring it in from the car.

It was inevitable

I knew this day would come. I can't be on top of Gracie and Luke 24 hours a day.

The good news is that it wasn't the toilet.

Let me explain. Gracie and Luke refuse to take a bath anywhere but in the guest bathroom. They like the big tub and the sliding glass doors. The doors help them hide from us and they love that they can splash and be silly without making a mess.

Last week, the tub stopped draining well. In fact, it took over a half hour to drain last night. Daddy thought perhaps a recent poop episode resulted in a clogged drain. The thought makes me gag a little. So, I tried using Liquid Plumber gel last night and nothing. The water refused to drain. So tonight, we went and bought the Foaming Pipe Snake version of Liquid Plumber and, on Daddy's suggestion, a new plunger.

I used the Liquid Plumber as soon as we got Gracie and Lukie into bed. It had to be poured in and left to sit for an hour. When I came back an hour later, I turned on the hottest possible water and waited for the drain to start, well, draining.

Nothing. Nada. The tub continued to fill with water and would not drain. So, I grabbed the plunger and started plumbing. Suddenly, weird colored stuff started floating in the water: some turquoise stuff I did not recognize, discarded elastics from Gracie's hair, and then...
a small green alligator toy. The water started draining a bit. Success!

And then, something else poked up from the drain. As the water drained a bit more, I was able to put my hand down and pull up: a yellow, plastic, toy fork.

Why was there a toy fork in the bathtub? I suspect we'll never know.

I'm going to remain happy it was not the toilet with the alligator and fork inside. For now.

Rockin' "La Bamba!"

Abue Rosi recently traveled to Mexico to celebrate Abuelita's 90th birthday.  She brought back lots of stories of her visit and, for Gracie and Luke, some surprises!  Their favorite new toys are tiny guitars that Tio Martin and Abue Juve are trying to teach them to play.

While I don't have video of them singing their new repertoire of songs, La Bamba is their best so far.
Anyone want to hire my little cantantes?

Pajamas and rain boots optional.

Terrified of Bath/Bed/Sleep

When you are a child, there is nothing worse than being kept from the action.

Mommy's in the kitchen making dinner? You want to see what she is doing.
Daddy is washing the car outside? You want to be in the suds helping him to clean.
Mommy's using the computer to distract herself from Dora and Diego on the television? You'd much rather be sitting on her lap pushing the buttons and destroying the operating system.

Bed time is like that. Mommy and Daddy take the little ones in their room snuggle them into bed and head on out. If you are 2 (or 2 and a half), you have to think that Daddy and Mommy must be swinging by the chandeliers or something! Heck, it has to be better than lying in bed with the lights off. (Quick aside: this book is great!)

Lately, Lukie has been really fighting bed time. He knows the order of our evening: dinner, bath, books, bed. The minute dinner starts, he begins making his feelings about bed known.

Lukie: Mommy, I don wanna go to bed.
Me: I hear you kid! Nobody likes to go to bed. But Mr. Sunshine is getting ready to go to bed and you need to get some sleep.
Lukie: No! Mr. Sunshine stays awake.
Me: Sorry, buddy, Mr. Sunshine needs his rest too.
Lukie: I don wanna go to bed! (crying, kicking, mayhem ensue)

The sad part is that this is usually 2 hours before we put them to sleep. He gets anxious and cranky, true signs that he does need his sleep. The tears are spontaneous and, for a while, I thought they were fake. Lukie is a great fake crier and I was sure that his nighttime tears were just that: fake.

But they haven't been. His tears, and the fear he has, are real. I don't know where they are coming from, but they are definitely real. It's hard for me to say that my son is afraid of things. He's such a tough guy and a "manly man" (go ahead and ask him!). However, there is something about night time that terrifies him. He thinks there are spiders in his bed, monsters coming through the window, and goodness knows what else waiting to snatch him. It has gotten so bad, that I've put the kabash on any teasing at night time. Daddy likes to tease Gracie and Lukie that he is going to get them or that the grasshopper outside will get them and, frankly, that is just making the situation worse.

It isn't that I want to keep Lukie in a bubble of nothing-will-hurt-yous. That's just silly. But there is definite terror in Lukie's tears and that worry/concern/anxiety needs to be addressed. No mother likes to see their children frightened. Especially when they are little.

Off to slay some monsters!

Maybe they are learning too much from Dora and Diego

Barney used to be Gracie and Luke's favorite show. Easy enough. Songs, elephants, fun-loving dinosaurs. Nothing to worry about. Nothing to scare them, just happy songs.

Sometime in the last 6 months, they stopped asking for Barney and everything became about Dora and Diego. We sing Dora songs and Gracie and Luke tell me stories about the animals Diego has saved. All of a sudden, they are using Spanish words again. They repeat after Dora and Diego during the shows and, occasionally, throw out a Vámanos!

Recently, they learned the word "abre." Dora and Boots told a gate to open and got everyone to say "ABRE!"

"Say, 'abre!'"

As with all things Dora, this phrase has become a part of our lives. You will never guess where. Just try.

Go ahead. I'll wait.

I was changing Gracie's diaper a few days ago and needed to use a wipe to clean her thoroughly. Unfortunately, Gracie does not like to be cleaned and will close her legs very tightly to prevent the diaper changer from getting all the nooks and crannies cleaned. Usually, she and I play a cat and mouse game:
Me: Gracie, open your legs.
Gracie: No.
Me: Gracie, Mommy needs to clean you very carefully. I will be very, very gentle. Please open your legs.
Gracie: No, Mommy.
Me: Gracie, I will be very gentle. Do you want me to show you gentle?
She'll open up a little and as soon as I start cleaning her legs, she will close them right back up.

So, the other day, we are starting our usual Diaper Dance and, instead of busting out with "No, Mommy", Gracie said, "Say, 'abre', Mommy."

Me: What?
Gracie: Say, 'abre!'

Daddy was sitting there laughing his head off. He thought it was hysterical that Gracie was making me use Spanish to tell her to open her legs. Awesome.

So, I said it and...tada! I got to clean her up. The bad news is that she won't let me change her diaper anymore with out saying 'abre' about 15 times.

Thanks a ton, Dora.

He said What?

I've decided I'm going to start a new game. The game is called: "Lukie said WHAT?"

I swear, I sit in the front seat of the car listening to my son talk and I have NO clue what the heck is coming out of his mouth. Sometimes, Daddy can translate and other times we look at each other in complete confusion.

Part of the challenge is Lukie's habit of making one syllable words become two syllable words. The most common victim/word is the word "there" which Lukie pronounces as "dey-er." He also uses the "ya" sound in place of the "L" sound. So I hear:
"Yook, Mommy! Yook!"
"Yet me, Gracie. Yet me."

He also has a habit of saying words in a particular order. "Mommy, I want the odder one car." instead of "Mommy, I want the other car."

It's a lot to keep up with and, sadly, I'm not fluent in "Lukie Language" enough to translate. So, instead, we'll play, "Lukie said WHAT?"

Watch for our first installment tomorrow!

How do kids grow if they only eat fruit and chips?

I don't know how other moms do it. Feed their children, I mean. Lukie usually eats okay, but Gracie...I'm stunned the girl is even growing. They don't seem to like 90% of what we make for them to eat and it gets more and more frustrating each day.

So what will they eat?

Pears, bananas, yogurt, chips (Flaming Hot only), grapes, occasionally strawberries, meat (most kinds). Anything on Mommy and Daddy's plates (even if it is also on their plates)

Oh, and chocolate milk. Sometimes regular. Usually not.

What won't they eat?

Anything with sauce on it. Anything with bread surrounding it. Anything Mommy and Daddy proclaim as amazing.

I guess I should be thankful they are eating something other than fruit snacks and Goldfish crackers like last year. One thing that is a definite "They Will Eat It, yay!" item is String Bean Chicken and Chow Mein from Panda Express. We went there tonight. Mainly because 2 of our 2 children haven't eaten well in the last 3 days (I think we have a stomach bug).

See? They love food from "The Panda."

They usually eat everything on their plates. Yes, everything. I bet if they thought they could get away with it, they'd ask to go every night.

I know eating out is not good for them. Homemade meals are always better. However, when you have Twinsies who don't eat 90% of what you put in front of them, desperate times call for desperate measures.

And I'm feeling particularly desperate lately.

Where the Heck are Gracie and Lukie?

Oh, stop! Have you really been asking that question? Really?

Some of you actually have. To be honest, we've been right here. I've thought almost every day about coming to update, but honestly, I've been enjoying Gracie and Luke too much to take the time. I apologize for that. Prepare to be bombarded with news!

Item 1: Learning, Learning, Learning
Daycare, also known as preschool, has been a ton of fun lately. I can tell because the laundry I've been doing is full of dirt, finger paints, glue and feathers. We've received weekly reports on the Twinsies. Apparently, they sometimes remember their numbers, sometimes remember their shapes, and sometimes remember their colors. Which is weird, because they always remember them with me. Hmmmm. Performance anxiety? I don't know. We've also tried our hand at potty training. But let's face it. Gracie and Luke are just not ready. They think the potty is exciting, but unless someone runs them there, they will happily pee in their pants. Not fun. They like underwear, though, so we'll keep trying them on.


Item 2: Talking, Talking, Talking
I can remember when I wished Gracie and Luke could express themselves. I no longer need to wish for that. Both of them are very good at communicating (when they want to) and their vocabulary is changing like crazy. I've been a bit sad, actually. Other people's kids mispronounce things in cutsy ways. Not Gracie and Luke. The most exciting thing they mispronounce is "strawbaberries." Well, there is Lukie's pronunciation of anything with an "r" sound in it. For example: "dey-er" (there). They've gotten so good at talking, I thought I would interview them.


Item 3: Playing, Playing, Playing
During Spring Break, I took Gracie and Lukie to the park almost every day. It was great to get out and we tried to go to a different park each time. Some trips were more successful than others. I counted any trip where we got back into the car in one piece as a success. Of course, I noticed somethings while visiting the park: 1) Lukie only likes to play with Gracie, but at the park, he's a total loner. 2) Gracie could make friends with the meanest person on the planet and they'd smile and play with her for an hour.


Item 4: Singing, Singing, Singing
Just as their vocabulary has exploded, their singing has too. They have many songs memorized and love to sing. We do have to hear "Round and round" about 50 times when Gracie gets stuck on "The Wheels on the Bus". By far, the best is "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star." Gracie says, "Bup, a-bup the world so high..." Lukie likes to make up his own songs. Daddy and I sit there trying to translate. I'm afraid we just don't speak "Lukese." Although, yesterday, his song sounded like "A Fed-co," but then, how would he know about Fedco? They closed before Ed and I even got married. Here's their latest favorite. A song I sing just for them.


I have lots more to share, but I don't want to overwhelm you!

Today's Score: Twinsies 298 - Mommy and Daddy 0

They're winning.
How do I know?
They whine. They cry. They throw themselves on the floor. They run away.
They get what they want. Because it is easier that way.
I don't know how it got like this. We were doing really well. Then, it seemed like overnight our pleasant Twinsies turned into mean talking, hitting, whining, and generally unpleasant 2 year-olds.
Daddy and I have started to sound like the parents we never wanted to be. We yell, we threaten, we use time-out as a punishment instead of a time to step back. Everything is a battle and we are weary.

Just like with everything else in our lives, we know what we are supposed to do, we know what we are supposed to say and yet, we don't. Why is that? John Rosemond, in his book, Making the Terrible Twos Terrific, says that the battle we do now to establish our role as the parents and the Twinsies role as the children will have long lasting effects. In fact, he says that if we don't establish our role as the "alpha dog", if you will, then the Twinsies' teenage years will be the most horrific of experiences. He isn't talking about us beating them down to always do our will because they are scared of us. Rather, he is talking about them doing what we ask, behaving as we ask, because they know it is what they are expected to do.

So, I sit here now, weary, heartsick, and feeling beaten. Why does this have to be such a battle? Why can't they be good listeners? Why can't I find the right words to inspire them to listen to me? Why do I have to fail at every turn?

Because really, they aren't winning. We are all losing.

Operation Bye-Bye Binky - A Success!

I'm here to raise my hand and say: "My toddlers are binky free!"

I'll admit, I thought it would be awful. I thought bedtime would be a battle and naps would completely disappear. I thought the world would come tumbling down around us. And it didn't.

The first few days were really tough. Last Saturday made me want to cry and tear my hair out. The couple of nights we've been up for a few hours around 2 am made me want to cry and lock myself in my room.

But, every day, they've asked fewer and fewer times for their binkies. Then, yesterday, nothing. No mention of the word "binky" at all! And today, nope! No mention of binkies!

I think that qualifies as a success!

What I find most amazing about saying Bye-bye to the binkies is the change that has overcome Gracie and Luke. They were chatty before, but I couldn't understand most of it around the binkies. They played before, but were calmer and more likely to sit than play in the house. Now, they are talking all the time and running around our living room like crazy. They hop, skip, jump, play hide-and-seek. They smile and laugh and sing and read books to us and make monster sounds. They seem to have more energy and more joy.

Were the binkies really holding them back? Were they keeping Gracie and Luke from talking and singing and becoming? It frightens me to think so, to think that because we waited so long to boot the binkies from our home that they might in some way hindered Gracie and Luke from becoming who they are meant to be.

At this point, Daddy and I are blissfully happy to say, "Bye-bye, binkies! You were helpful while we needed you, but we are glad to see you go!"

So, Bye-bye binkies!

And good riddance!