Gracie - 3, Lukie - 0

In August, Gracie and Lukie met the dentist for the very first time.  He was very nice and patient with them.  They had lots of fun and they think the dentist is a nice man with dolphins on his walls.  He told us then that Gracie was getting ready to start losing teeth.  Two of them would need to be pulled because she had an extra baby tooth that was crowding the others, but on the bottom, she actually had adult teeth starting to push the baby teeth away. For a moment or so, I was petrified by the idea of teeth being lost.  I mean, these are my five year olds!  They can't possibly be old enough to lose teeth!  But they were so excited about getting their "Mommy" and "Daddy" teeth, that I could not help but be excited for them.  Alas, I forgot about the Tooth Fairy.

I did not really think about how the whole Tooth Fairy thing would go.  I mean, there are some crazy parents out there.  They "glitterize" their money before they put it under the pillow or they do elaborate scavenger hunts for kids to find their treasure.  Me?  When Gracie lost her first two teeth (to the dentist), I was not prepared.  After I panicked for a few minutes, I realized that I could do something on our own and the Tooth Fairy letter was invented.  I downloaded a pretty picture of a tooth fairy and typed up letters that were left with the money under the pillow.  Gracie and Lukie get so excited when they see a letter from the Tooth Fairy.  I'm so glad I did something that worked for us.

Since Gracie's surgery, she lost a tooth at school (The envelope holding it was lost again in extended care.  Luckily, someone found it.) and she lost another one a few days ago.  Daddy has been joking with her that she has windows in her mouth.  He will play with her and say she has little Whos living in the windows of her teeth. She always giggles when he says that.

It has been a couple of days since Gracie lost the latest tooth and already, those adult teeth are pushing higher and higher in her mouth.  The gap on top, the one from her surgery, is still quite glaring, but it is getting better as it heals.

Lukie wants to know when he will start losing his teeth.  He will not be comforted by the reassurance that it will be soon.  He thinks of himself as the bigger and stronger twin and he wants to do things first.  Unfortunately for him, Gracie seems to do most things first, but he is never far behind!

Playing Pretend: The Spaceship Version

The other day, I posted this as my Facebook status:
Captain's log:
Star Date: January 25th 2012
Today the Federation Star Ship Sorrento encountered heavy solar winds on our way to Planet Abue Rosi. First Mate Lucas found himself fighting off enemy star ships. Communications Officer Gracie helped the captain and the first mate navigate the solar system. We arrived safely. Our mission will continue this evening. Captain out.

That morning, I packed the kiddos into the car and decided to play with them.  I did a countdown: 5-4-3-2-1 Blastoff! We played the entire way to Abue Rosi's pretending we were shooting mean aliens, flying quickly around dangerous space ships, avoiding horrible solar winds. We giggled and laughed and had a great time.

Sometimes, the best times are when your Mommy can be silly with you.

New Year and New Goal

I think we can all agree that 2010 was a crazy year for everyone.  Frankly, I'm happy it is gone.  It wasn't a banner year for us.

Well, except that Daddy now has a working kidney.

And, Gracie and Lukie are both potty trained.

And we're together.

Okay, scratch that.  The year ended well. 

However, I know that I've dropped the ball when it comes to Gracie and Luke.  I've hardly taken any pictures and I haven't done a good job of recording all of the amazing memories we have had in the last year.  I wish I had something on which I could record notes to myself.  It would be awesome.  I'm forever thinking:  "I need to put that on the blog." and then I don't.

So, I'm rededicating myself to the 365 Project.  Unfortunately, we are now at a 363 project because I did not decide to do this until today.  I will do this!  I can! 

Check back later for some update posts for December.  We had Tamale Day and several other days to report on!

Here's to a fantastic 2011!

In which I cannot decide if I love 3 years old or not

Gracie and Luke have been 3-years-old now for a couple of months. It has been a roller coaster to be sure. Now that I have some experience with 3, here's what I have about 3-year-olds: It's a love-hate relationship.

Things I love about 3-years-old:
1. the spontaneous and sincere expressions of love
2. the enthusiasm for life
3. the silly singing and story telling
4. the independence
5. the helpfulness when it is time to take out the trash
6. fewer diapers
7. the ability to amuse oneself rather than depending on me
8. a rapidly forming ability to remember everything that happens, ever
9. imagination times 10
10. they can do more things for themselves (I don't have to do everything for them)

Things I dislike intensely about 3-years-old:
1.quick mood changes
2. stubbornness
3. independence
4. the "helpfulness" when you really did not need the help
5. finickiness about food
6. the tattling voice
7. Gracie's "I'm 3 going on 13" voice: "Mah-ahm! No-wah!"
8. the ability to remember everything (including that Mommy just said "stupid") and share it with everyone we meet
9. potty training (bleh!)
10. the defiance (yes, it is real)

It is definitely a love-hate relationship, but I would not change it for the world. Three is so much fun!

Dear Gracie and Lukie,

I haven't written you a letter in a very long time, but today, I had an overwhelming sense that I wanted to write one to share with you how amazing it feels to be your Mommy.

The past few months have been super challenging. You are definitely about to turn 3, your impulsivity, your independence, your determination, your silliness, and your struggles with potty training are all minute by minute reminders! As frustrating as some of it can be, I wouldn't trade any of it for the world.

You see, if I did not get to chase you around to change your clothes, get your shoes on, help you put your books away, struggle to find foods you would actually eat, and deal with tantrums, I would not also get the AMAZING hugs and kisses that are so much a part of our days. I would not get the smiles, often accompanied by giggles, or the funny dances, the silly songs you sing, or the requests for pushing you on swings. I wouldn't get the spontaneous "I love you, Mommy!" declarations or the cuddles that make my heart happy.

I would not get any of those things, because I would not have YOU! You, Gracie and Lukie, are the two best things I have done in my life. I used to think I would be crazy to bring children into the wacky world we live in. Now, I know that children are by far the best blessings I can give to the world. You make the world a better place. You make my life better.

Daddy looked at me last night and said, "I can't believe they're ours" for about the hundred billionth time. At that moment, you were splashing water outside of the tub and had already soaked me. I looked at him (I'm sure there was huge amounts of frustration in my eyes), took a deep breath, and said, "Me neither. We are so lucky."

And we are. So very lucky!

And then came yesterday...

And I jinxed us again.

Not only did Gracie have an accident at the park...on the playground equipment...but she had a meltdown of epic proportions last night.

I'm at a loss about this parenting thing.  Just when I think we are making progress, everything falls apart and we take 3 steps backward.  It's enough to drive me to drink...if I drank...but I usually don't.

I just really wish there were an instruction manual that worked.  Everyone has ideas and they are all great, but they only work about 3% of the time.

Graciela and Lucas,
If you are adults and reading this, I was at a serious low point when I wrote this.  You think you had it bad?  I felt like crying at every moment.  If you have kids, you'll feel this way too.  This isn't a threat or a wish that bad things will happen to you.  It is just a fact.  Parenting is hard and toddlers are crazed.  And they drive you to drink alcohol or Starbucks, whichever is closest.

Love, Mommy

I've decided to give myself a bit of a break.  Barnes and Noble is giving free chocolate to people who bring their nooks in.  Godiva and I have a date.

Snuggles and Cuddles

Gracie and Luke have never been cuddlers. When they were newborns, they would do that whole snuggle-with-their-booties-in-the-air thing for a little while, but they wanted to be laying sideways or on a bed. I kept waiting for babies who would crawl up into my lap and snuggle with me, but Gracie and Luke are busy. They have places to go and things to do. Snuggling with Mommy and Daddy has never been too high on their to do lists.

But recently, things have been changing. I wish I could pin point the cause, but rather than analyze it, I think I am just going to enjoy it. Many times over the last few weeks, my non-cuddlers have wanted to snuggle. Whether it is to sit on my lap, snuggle in the rocker, or give tight hugs, Gracie and Luke want to be near us. Snuggling and cuddling have finally led to my favorite thing in the world: Twinsies who fall asleep on their Mommy. I thought it would never happen, but finally, they seem to trust us enough to fall asleep on us.
And, let me tell you, this is bliss.

I love the snuggles and cuddles and "I love you, Mommy" whispers. Total and utter bliss.

So after a day when they have broken every crayon, colored on the windows and hardwood floors, hit me, hit each other, refused to eat and run out into the street, a snuggle or a cuddle makes it all better. Those "now" moments really know how to erase all the bad in the day.

Thank goodness.

Every mom is special, but these...

Gracie and Lukie are healthy. The illnesses we have endured with them are nothing compared to the battles some moms face every day.

Seven years ago, I was fortunate enough to help start a St. Jude Math-A-Thon at my school. In the years, we have participated, we've raised a lot of money for the children there to receive treatment. We think about those kids every moment we are raising the money. The people we forget are their moms. Luckily, the children don't.



Happy early Mother's Day to the moms of all children struggling with disease and illness. May your day be filled with laughter and joy.

Today's Score: Twinsies 298 - Mommy and Daddy 0

They're winning.
How do I know?
They whine. They cry. They throw themselves on the floor. They run away.
They get what they want. Because it is easier that way.
I don't know how it got like this. We were doing really well. Then, it seemed like overnight our pleasant Twinsies turned into mean talking, hitting, whining, and generally unpleasant 2 year-olds.
Daddy and I have started to sound like the parents we never wanted to be. We yell, we threaten, we use time-out as a punishment instead of a time to step back. Everything is a battle and we are weary.

Just like with everything else in our lives, we know what we are supposed to do, we know what we are supposed to say and yet, we don't. Why is that? John Rosemond, in his book, Making the Terrible Twos Terrific, says that the battle we do now to establish our role as the parents and the Twinsies role as the children will have long lasting effects. In fact, he says that if we don't establish our role as the "alpha dog", if you will, then the Twinsies' teenage years will be the most horrific of experiences. He isn't talking about us beating them down to always do our will because they are scared of us. Rather, he is talking about them doing what we ask, behaving as we ask, because they know it is what they are expected to do.

So, I sit here now, weary, heartsick, and feeling beaten. Why does this have to be such a battle? Why can't they be good listeners? Why can't I find the right words to inspire them to listen to me? Why do I have to fail at every turn?

Because really, they aren't winning. We are all losing.

The Blame Game

"Moooommmmmmmmyyyyyyyy, Becki hit me!"

"Moooommmmmmmmyyyyyyyy, Jennifer told me to shut uuuuuuuuppppp!"

There was a constant litany of "Moooommmmmmmmyyyyyyy" tales in our house growing up. One of us was always tattling on the other. We'd blame each other for everything: water on the floor, stealing stuffed animals, drawing in our picture books (that was mostly me, but I digress).

I thought I had a few years before Gracie and Luke started the Blame Game. But, when daycare/school started, they started encountering other children who heard all kinds of things at home. They hear all that whiney, yucky talk and they inherit it. I still remember the first time Gracie sing-songed: "Mommy, look at hi-im!" and pointed at her brother. Of course, 5 minutes later, Lukie sing-songed it too: "Mommy, look at hi-im!"

"Gracie's a girl, Lukie. It's look at her, not him."

That went on for about a month. I tried ignoring it, but it was SO obnoxious. I've noticed that the dreaded phrase has not been spoken recently and I hope it never comes back.

The new thing is blaming each other for things. You know. It wasn't me, it was her?

Me: "Ew! Somebody went poop. Lukie, did you go poop?"
Lukie: "No. Gracie went poop."
Me: "Nope, I'm pretty sure it is you that is stinking up the house."
Lukie: "No! Gracie!"
Me: "Gracie, did you go poop?"
Gracie: "No! Lukie! Lukie went poop!"

You can see how we go around and around about this. If I did not just grab a child and check their diaper, we'd be there all day! It's not just about poop.

Me: "Oh, no! Look at this mess! What happened?"
Gracie: "Lukie did it."
Me: "Lukie threw all of your toys all over your room?"
Lukie: "NO! Gracie!"
Gracie: "Lukie did it!"
and so on....

I'm sure this is just a small portrait of what the next 16 and a half years will look like.

"Who painted the wall?"
"Lukie did!"
"Gracie did!"

"Who ran over Mommy's flowers?"
"Gracie did!"
"Lukie did!"

"Who drove the car and did not put gas in it?"
"Lukie did!"
"Gracie did!"

"Whose actions led to World Peace?"
"Mine!"
"Mine!"

That's what I thought.

Twas the Night Before Christmas

I had a poem.
It wasn't working, so I hit backspace.

The time is 11:32 pm and for some silly reason, I am still awake.  Today has been one of THOSE days.  We discovered our oven is broken yesterday and it has thrown a wrench into everything.  My peppermint cheesecake is possilby (most probably) over baked.  I had to keep it in the oven longer than required and I had to keep messing with the temperature to keep the oven hot enough to cook it.  It feels awfully hard now.  The best cookies ever (peanut butter and chocolate) recommended by Marcy (Hi! Marcy!) came out crumbly because of my oven troubles.  All this has led to worry, stress, and disappointment.

Add to that that Gracie and Luke won't nap, are in full blown Two Year Old Tantrum Phase III, and are having nightmares, I need a vacation.

Gracie and Luke fell asleep tonight after we read "Happy Birthday, Baby Jesus" repeating over and over what they want from Santa.  Somehow, Daddy convinced them to say it over and over so they would dream of what they want.  Gracie said, "Dolly, dolly, dolly."  (News to me!  She told me she wanted a red choo-choo.) Lukie said, "Choo-choo, blue.  Choo-choo, blue."  Luckily, there is a choo-choo under the tree for Lukie and I'm hoping Gracie will see Mr. Potato Head as a dolly. 

There are also tubs of Play Dough, Magnadoodles, play food, and 2 Sit N Spins!  Hiding behind it all are two MegaTubes of M&Ms for my chocolate obsessed toddlers.  It is a lovely sight:  our first real Christmas tree with presents for children.  Daddy is so excited, he made sure the Flip Video Camera is ready to go.  Me?  I'm trying to come up with a special breakfast that does not involve an oven.  Sigh.

Tomorrow we are off to Aunt Bec's house for yummy dinner and a, hopefully, edible peppermint cheesecake.  Just in case, we are bringing Marcy's cookies and two pans of apples to make apple crisp.  Fingers crossed that one of them work!

Tomorrow is a long day, so I'm off to bed...

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

The Great Gift Dilemma

Daddy and I have been avoiding shopping for Gracie and Luke. We can't really agree on what to buy them for Christmas. Should we get them Mr. Potato Head? A Sit and Spin? Big Wheels? Food for their play kitchen? What?

I think what is bothering me is they already have so many toys; toys they don't seem to play with. They have puzzles whose pieces are strewn about their room. They have books that are read, but mostly destroyed (their new favorite thing is tearing the covers off of their books). They have dolls and stuffed animals that they sometimes cuddle, but mostly live in a storage box. They have Lego Duplos and they like those, but I'm always finding them in crazy places and am terrified that Daddy will trip on them.

It's frustrating. We want Gracie and Luke to have toys that will spark their imaginations and give them the opportunity to play. But, we don't want to add to the unused toys and we don't want them to get the message that Christmas is all about gifts.

Today, a writer on a How Do You Do It?, a multiples mommy blog, wrote about this very topic. She added that she is making service as a part of her family's traditions. I love this idea and I'm going to have to work on how we can contribute during the holiday season.

One thing that caught my attention was this: limiting the gifts we give our children to 4.

• Something they want
• Something they need
• Something to wear
• Something to read

This makes total sense to me and will be a great guideline as we go forward. Strangely, this is what Grandma and Grandpa have been doing for years (minus the "read" gift). They always give Daddy and his brothers one thing they want, underwear/shaving supplies/cologne they need, and a new outfit or jacket to wear.

I'm feeling a little better now that I can focus myself. Hey! Maybe we will actually go shopping this week!

What to do when they are sickie-poo?

There is nothing like the feeling of helplessness you get when you see one of your children sick. You want to wave a magic wand and help them feel better. You want to make the fevers go away. You want to make the sneezing and coughing to away. Most of all, you want the smiles and hugs back. You want your child back!

Gracie has been sick since last week. She's had fevers on and off over that time and Dr. A assured us on Friday that it was just a virus. We've been doing our best to help Gracie rest and feel better, but Gracie has a stubborn streak and she only wants to do what she wants to do when she wants to do it!

This morning, I heard her crying at 5 am. Granted we've just had a time change, so in Gracie's head it's still 6 am, but I digress. I heard her crying at 5 am and Daddy told me to leave Gracie in her room. He thought she was just awake and wanted to be out of her bed. So, I went to take my shower and left her in her room (I'd like to say that I was very torn here. She was making a mewling-crying sound and I wanted to go get her. However, when I do, she cries more and tends to wake the neighborhood up.).

About 5 minutes after I got in the shower, I heard the unmistakable sound of Little Who in our bedroom. Crying. Daddy must not have been able to stand the sound of Gracie sad either. When I finally came out of the bathroom, I discovered Gracie AND Lukie in our bed. It was then that I realized what happened. Lukie was so awake and happy that he must have woken up first and climbed in bed with Gracie, thus waking her up. It is the only explanation. Poor Gracie.

When I took her temperature, it was back up to 102.4 degrees. She was fever free yesterday! What happened? Needless to say, we have to call the doctor again. But what do I do? Daddy has dialysis today and I have to work. Should I stay home or have Gracie go with Grandma to the salon where she can cuddle and sleep in Grandma's big chair?

The lesson I keep being reminded of is that it is no fun being the working parent. It is especially not fun if you are the Mommy and the working parent. Every instinct in me says that I need to be at home with Gracie, but the practical side of me says I only have 7 sick days left and I need to reserve those for when I am horrifically ill.

So, what to do?

This is where I say: I need to go buy a lottery ticket.

Gosh, I love my kids

I was scrolling through my blog a few minutes ago, minding my own business, when suddenly a picture of Gracie and Luke flashed before my eyes. Before I knew it, a WAVE of love washed over me. Have you ever felt that? That tingling wave that starts at the top of your head and washes through your body? A feeling of love that makes you want to find the person immediately and hug them senseless?

This one felt that way to me.

It's amazing to me that I have two children; two amazing 2 year olds with their own personalities, likes and dislikes, and their own hearts brimming with love for the people around them.

What did I do to deserve them? I guess that's my question every day. When they are happy and loving life...what did I do to deserve two fantastic kids? When they are tired and cranky and running into Men's bathrooms...what did I do to deserve these two amazingly independent children? When they hug me and kiss me and cuddle up to me...what did I do to have two little children love me so?

When times are tough, I ask myself these questions. When it seems like life can't get any worse, I remind myself how truly, amazingly, fantastically blessed I am to have Gracie and Lukie in my life.

And then that wave of love feels like a warm, sunny ocean. It can't get any better than that.