Things heard around our house

Lukie: "One, two, three, four, five, six, seben, eight..."
Me: "What are you doing, Lukie?"
Lukie: "I'm counting my dollars."
Me: "You mean your nickels?"
Lukie: "No, these are dollars. I am counting my money to see if I have enough to buy a Toyota."
Me (struggling to hold back a laugh): "A Toyota?"
Lukie: "Yes, I need to have a car for when I'm big. They cost $20 hunn-red dollars. I almost have enough money."

About Daddy

The past year has been truly difficult for Daddy.  In September 2010, he had his kidney transplant and the surgery was successful.  Unfortunately, there were all kinds of complications that happened afterward: blood clots, digestive system issues, infections.  It felt like he was in the hospital for most of 2011.  He would come home for a few weeks and be back in soon afterward.

When I look back on the year, it is not through my eyes as his wife.  Instead, I can only see the year as Gracie and Lucas did.  The older they become, the bigger their world is.  When they were a year old and Daddy was in the hospital, they had me, Abue Rosi, and Abue Juve every day to distract them and fill their days with happiness.  When they turned two, they missed him and asked about him, but they were easily distracted. At 3, they asked so many questions about Daddy.  What was he doing? When was he coming home? Why was the doctor making him stay at the hospital? They had so many questions and it was increasingly difficult to answer them.  How do  you tell a 3 year old that their Daddy has an illness that is not going to go away and has the potential to get so much worse?

I think the last 5 months have been the hardest.  This summer, Ed was out of the hospital for about 9 weeks.  We were together every day and it was really fantastic. Then, in August, Ed went in to have a filter removed from his leg.  During the procedure, the camera that the doctor was using to locate the filter punctured his vein and caused him to bleed internally.  I was there when the doctor came in to talk with him. Ed almost died. 

It is unbelievably hard to write that statement.  We almost lost him. I held Gracie and Lucas tightly for the next few days, uncertain what life held for us. They had so many questions this time, but this time, they were scared.  They had just spent weeks with their Daddy and their love for him was/is huge.  There were tears and worry that I would go away too.  Daddy was in the hospital for months this time and since he's come home, he hasn't been the same.  He's had more complications and his frustration at not being able to be an active father increases every day.

Three days ago, Daddy came home after having been in the hospital for a week and a half.  Tonight, he returned to the hospital.  Each time, it is harder for Gracie and Lucas.  Each time, I see them become more anxious and afraid.  I wish I had answers for them and that I could reassure them that Daddy will be well soon.  The truth is, I have no idea what is next.  No idea whether he will be well tomorrow or at all. I'm scared and I have no answers.  All I can do is hug them close and make sure they feel as safe as possible.

On Facebook today, someone posted a quote that stuck with me and I'm going to hold it close:

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.

I hope Daddy knows how strong he can be.

This Year's Motto: Life Moves Pretty Fast...

Ferris Bueller said: "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

The past two days, this quote has been in my head and when I logged in to our blog today, I realized that I haven't been stopping to look at life at all this year.  There is so much that I should have recorded and I haven't.  My memory is bad and I hate that there are things that happened this year and I won't be able to share with Gracie and Lucas.


2011 was not a kind year.  I feel like the past 4 years could be designated that way, but when I stop and reconsider it, I realize that I have something special that I did not have 4 years ago: Gracie and Lucas. Despite all of the frustration, tears, and frustration of the past year, the joys of having Gracie and Lukie here with me have made everything so much better.

2012 has a lot of things to look forward to: a family vacation, my 40th birthday, and Gracie and Lukie's 5th birthday. There is so much more. The plan is to come back and post more frequently, even if it is something short. We have so much going on and I don't want to forget a single thing!

Finally!

Gracie has been scared of Santa Claus for as long as I can remember.  I think she may even have cried when he held her at 3 months old.  She's refused to go near him.  I've had to Photoshop her into Santa pictures.  It's not like she has to like him, but I've always hoped to get those classic family photos of Gracie and Lukie with Santa.

Thankfully, the early onslaught of Christmas shows has made Santa not quite as frightening.  Gracie has been curious about him and when she and I talked about him this year, I assured her that she did not have to sit on his lap.  I told her she could just stand next to him and that would be fine.  Some how, though, this Santa, the real Santa, convinced Gracie to sit on his lap. 

She looked like she might leap off at any second, but she stayed on his lap long enough to get this picture.

Things that make me happy

Children who are so aware of life around them, they create their own parking lot.

We are 4!

On Gracie and Lukie's first day in the Big Kid Room at pre-school, we had to make sure that everyone knew they were 4.  Four is a magical age, you see.  You are BIG now and you can do all kinds of things by yourself.

So advertising is necessary.

We went with our 4th Birthday shirts.  I think it is pretty obvious that they are 4.

Their new backpacks are bigger than they are.  But they were so excited when they saw these things!

Transformers for Lukie and Hello Kitty for Gracie.

I love 4.  So do Gracie and Lukie.

Our goals before we're 4

Gracie and Luke are just a few days away from their fourth birthday. A month or so ago, the three of us set some goals to be met before their birthday.
1. That they would choose their clothes and dress themselves.
2. Fasten their seat belts by themselves.
3. Wipe their own booties effectively.
I have to say that I am very proud of them! They have almost hit all three completely. They only have to master the third one. The cool part is that they almost have it down.
Gracie and Luke are beyond excited for their birthday. They have every reason to be: they aren't babies any more!

Our Michael Jackson craze

At the beginning of the summer, Gracie and Lukie's teacher mentioned how much they liked the hip hop class on Thursdays.  There was a new session starting and the teacher had invited Gracie to participate.  Apparently, Gracie was all over dance class.  She sashayed and jumped and had some serious rhythm.  I looked at the price of the class and almost choked.

However, after a sibling discount (who hoo) and two very excited kids, I found the money hiding in my savings account to make hip hop class a reality for them.  I'm so glad I did it!  Not only are they having a blast, but they are discovering music that we haven't introduced them to.  I can do without Justin Bieber and the Baja Men, but they've absolutely fallen in LOVE with Michael Jackson.  So much so, that we have spent several hours watching videos and dancing to Michael Jackson songs.  I burned CDs with their favorite songs on them and they are what we listen to in the car.  They love to sing "Beat It", "Black or White", "Smooth Criminal", and "Bad."  They are also discovering "The Girl is Mine."  They love hearing the stories of Michael Jackson from when Aunt Bec and I were little.  Lukie is excited about dancing like him and keeps practicing his Moon Walk.

Lukie's dancin' moves:



He loves dancing like Michael Jackson so much that he even dancing to MJ in the car:

Why is Lukie crying?

I'll let him tell you:

Where have 8 months gone?

Have you ever sat down, taken a deep breath, and wondered "What happened with the last several months?"  I'm sitting here looking at my blog and wondering that very thing.  My last post was 8 months ago.  Some how, life has taken over and all kinds of memories are being lost to the passage of time.  I have a horrible memory and I know that there are things that have happened over the last several months that will be lost.

Luckily, I have some pictures and videos to spark some memories.  Starting tomorrow, I'm going to start going back and posting them in their correct months.  There are things like Gracie and Lukie's first Tamale Day and their obsession with Michael Jackson.  It's some good stuff.  Trust me.

So here's my promise.  Check back tomorrow.  There will be some good stuff!  Until then...

Taking a Trip to the Zoo

We've taken quite a few trips to the Zoo, but I have to admit that a trip with almost 4-year-olds is really fun.  They can do more for themselves and they aren't scared of everything.  Our most recent trip was our first day out with a healthy Daddy.

Gracie and Lukie touched a python skin, a rattle snake skin, and Gracie, my brave girl, petted a guinea pig.  We were seriously enchanted by the Children's Zoo.  I don't know how we've managed to skip that part of the Zoo over the past few years, but we will definitely be going back.

Gracie and Luke kept wanting to look through the telescopes.  Next time, I need to make sure I have money for them!

For some reason, there was also a lot of eating.  Daddy, Gracie, and Luke packed a "goodie" bag.  Lukie packed fruit.  Gracie packed BBQ sauce chips.  You can see where their priorities are.

Lukie loves fruit and nectarines are one of his favorite fruits!

Yeah, I'm tough.

Thanks for the SEE food, Lukie!

Look at these eyes!  How can you say No to them???

Someone talked us into churros.

We saw lots of animals, too.  The kangaroos were great fun!  But the star of the day was the Kimodo Dragon.

Lukie kept talking about him like he was the best thing in the whole world!

Now time for a Twinterview (age 3 years 10.5 months):