A Surprise from Daddy

Daddy surprised us today by taking us to a fun indoor play place called Tiny Town.  Tiny Town is a lovely air conditioned play area with a huge jumpy, inflated climbing area, and tons of toddler toys.  It cost us just $14 and we got to play for 3 hours.  The awesome news is that you can show up at 10 am, pay the fee and play all day long.  You can even leave and come back without playing any additional fees AND you can bring your own food, no charge!

Gracie and Luke had a fantastic time.   They played and played, made new friends, climbed, played.  In the end, it was Lukie who was done first.  He was clearly tired and told us it was time to go.  Gracie was not ready to go and gave us a fight.  It wasn't pretty, but we decided to let her have her moment in her car seat as we drove to Baskin Robbins.  There, Daddy treated us to chocolate ice cream and Gracie and Luke finished every single bite of their ice cream.  It was a first.  They really enjoyed it!

 

We can't wait to go back to Tiny Town again!

Well, who'da thunk it?

The message about eating seems to have been heard loud and clear. Ever since Gracie and Luke refused to eat and we put them to bed without letting them have any more food, they have eaten almost everything we've put in front of them. We've limited snacks and limited television when they get home from pre-school and that has really helped.

I know I joked about it in the last post, but I did read the BabyCenter.com article on finicky eaters and learned some interesting things. Two things really resonated with me: 1) portion size and 2) the amount of choices we give them. I started paying attention to how much food we were putting on their plates and it was HUGE. It might be the right amount for an adult, but it was enough for at least 3 toddlers. It was the first change I made. We started putting less of each food item on their plates two nights ago and have had real success with them finishing more. The other thing, which is contrary to everything we were told a year ago, is to give them fewer choices on their plates.

Fewer? They just told us to give them lots of things to choose from!

This parenting thing can get super confusing. The article says that some kids can't choose when given too many items on their plates. This is an argument reflected by John Rosemond about toys. His has stated that when children have too many toys, they don't play with any of them because it is so overwhelming. It makes sense, but so did the "give them lots of things to choose from" argument.

We tried that on Tuesday night with lots of success. I bought a roasted chicken from the store and served it with raw broccoli and ranch dip. It was devoured! When they started playing, I reminded them that if they wanted to play that dinner was over. They both sat right back down to finish their food.

On Wednesday, Daddy made dinner and got a little excited with the food choices. They finished some of the food, but not all of it, and left a lot of food. When they started getting up and playing instead of eating their dinner, we declared dinner over and had them take their plates to the kitchen. We told them that if they asked for more food, they could finish their dinners, and left the plates for them to come back to. An hour later, Gracie and Lukie started asking for apples and I reminded them about their dinner. They switched to asking for cookies and again, I reminded them about their dinner. They did not like this at all. I did eventually let them each have one cookie once they had their jammies on, but limited it to just one despite repeated requests. We will try going back to less food and fewer choices tonight. I'm really thinking that less is the key here.

We've had some definite steps forward and I feel inspired to continue begin stricter with them about food.

Eat or don't. It's up to you, kid.

There are picky eaters in the world.  Many of them.  I just never thought my kids would be some of them.  When it was just Gracie, Lukie, and me in the apartment last year, they would eat most everything I put in front of them with some exceptions. Recently, however, they have really been testing my patience.

Things Gracie will eat:
turkey, cheese, crackers
chicken, green beans, and noodles from Panda Express
bacon
pizza
plain chicken
cheese
yogurt

and, sometimes, she'll eat:
apples
lettuce
quesadillas
carrots
cookies
milk/chocolate milk
corn
melon
bread
tomato

Lukie will pretty much eat anything we put in front of him, except when he decides he doesn't want to.  Yeah.  He's fun like that.

We don't really have any control over lunch at day care.  We have them help us make their lunches, but when they are at school, they eat only what they want to.  All of the rest of their food comes home in their lunch boxes.  Of course, it would be great if we would make them eat what was left over, but not very safe given it hasn't been in the refrigerator.  Dinner has been the real challenge.  We make dinner.  We put it on their fun plates.  Lukie will eat most of it, especially if it has meat and noodles or meat and rice.  Gracie...She pushes it around and refuses to eat.  Then, she'll ask for crackers or cheese an hour later.

A couple of nights ago, I had enough.  I resolved to let them go hungry if they would not eat what we put in front of them.  So, last night, Gracie said she wanted turkey, cheese, and crackers and Lukie agreed.  I made each of them turkey, cheese, crackers, and added some sliced tomatoes and carrots. 

To say that they ate little of it is an overstatement.  Gracie threw her cheese at Lukie and said that she didn't want it.  Neither of them ate the turkey.  Lukie ate some of his tomatoes and that was it.  Daddy and I told them that they either at their dinner or they would go to bed.  Lukie turned his plate over and dropped his food on the floor.  So, that was it.  At 5:15 pm, they went into the bath tub, and were in their room, in their jammies, at 5:45 pm.  Daddy and I read a few books to them and, then, at 6:30 pm, the lights went off.  There was a lot of crying and kicking of feet, requests for bananas, etc., but Daddy held firm.  They were asleep a little while later and, thankfully, slept through the night.

This morning, they had cereal and when they started to play instead of eat, I asked if they were done and reminded them that if they did not eat their cereal, there was nothing else to eat.  This got them both to sit down and finish a little more.  I don't expect it to be super easy, but I'm sticking with this method.  I thought about trying something flashy and fun to get them to eat, but why?  If you don't eat what we make, then you don't eat.  It's a simple equation, one that Gracie and Lukie need to learn quickly.

Here's something funny:  I started this post about two hours ago and just got an email from BabyCenter.com about finicky eaters.  Let's see if the "experts" can help with the issue.

Our First Trip to the Library

On Friday, I planned a special trip for Gracie and Luke. We have a number of books at home, but we've read them all. Multiple times. Gracie and Lukie love, LOVE, to read and so I decided to take them to the library. When I picked them up from school, we talked about the library and what we would get to do there; how to use quiet voices and how many books we could bring home. In hindsight, I'm very glad that I had that conversation with them. Otherwise we would have brought home about 20 books!

Gracie was at home from the moment we arrived. In fact, if Lukie hadn't needed a diaper change, I suspect Gracie could have sat at her little table for an hour or more. She loved looking at the books and sitting at the table in the Children's section. I think she read 5 books in the 15 minutes we were there.



Alas, Lukie did need a diaper change, rather badly as it turned out, so we walked to the counter and they each put their book up for the librarian to scan. They were so excited! We will definitely be going back soon!

Cool Pool, Hot Day

We spent $20 on an inflatable pool and hand pump.  It was the best $20 we've spent in forever!

This video is from a few weeks ago, but it shows just how much Lucas loves to be adventurous.

Lukie and the Flamin' Hot Cheetos

Clearly, Lucas is his father's son. Daddy used to search for the hottest salsas and peppers. He once ate a fresh habanero pepper like it was candy. He has issues with heat. He likes his food hot, hot, hot!

That's not to say that I don't like my food spicy, too! One of my favorite snacks is Flamin' Hot Cheetos. When I first started eating them, years ago, they were so spicy, I had to keep milk nearby to cut the heat. When I was pregnant with Gracie and Lukie, they were one of the few chip flavors in the vending machines at the hospital. I would buy a Dr. Pepper and a bag of Flamin' Hot Cheetos. I was a happy girl (despite being stuck in the hospital).

Lucas has inherited our love for spicy foods. His current favorite, like mine, is Flamin' Hot Cheetos. Recently, we were at the park and he snagged a bag from my backpack.

If I told you how many unfinished blog posts I have

I have about 15 unfinished blog posts just waiting for me to share them with the world. Hopefully, I'll finish them soon. In the meantime, Aunt Bec caught these pictures of Gracie and Lukie at Rainforest Cafe as we celebrated Bianca's 7th birthday:

Can you believe these two? I feel like I blinked and they grew up all of a sudden! They don't look like babies (even though their favorite past time is to pretend to be babies) and that makes me sad. They are going to be big kids soon. Waaaa.

Speaking of Big Kids, Bianca as 7 is just something I cannot comprehend. She was 4 when we took this picture:

That tiny little baby is Gracie Lu Who. Do you remember her being that small?

And what about this one at my hospital baby shower:


It just amazes me how quickly time passes.

And the P/Ting hits a snag...

I always knew that Gracie would be the first one to start potty training. When she was 4 months old, she started to hit developmental milestones a few weeks before Lucas. Since then, she seems to do things first and Lukie is a few days or weeks behind.

That the teachers told us she was ready for panties came as a bit of a surprise, but I did not question them. Unfortunately, they spend more time with her than I get to, so they had a better idea of her readiness. Apparently, she has been doing very well at school. She comes home dry and wearing the same panties we sent her in (well, except one day). She does well with Abue Rosi and going to the potty there.

It's using the bathroom at home that is not going well.

Gracie absolutely does not like me reminding her about going to the bathroom. She doesn't want me asking, doesn't want me telling her to go, and certainly will not admit that she needs to go. I'll ask her gently, "Gracie, do you need to go potty in the toilet?" "Gracie, remember, there's a bathroom in this store. Let me know if you need to go and I'll take you!" "Gracie, hold the potty in your vagina until you get to the bathroom." (P.S. I know it isn't in her vagina. It is just easier to explain it to her that way.)

We are engaged in an epic battle: Mommy versus the Independent "I don't need to go potty" Toddler. She'll let me win once or twice a day, when she wants to. Here's the kicker. She lets me win a little. She will get on the toilet sprinkle a bit and announce "I did it!" She'll jump off the toilet and declare herself done. Only, she isn't done. She pees only a little and holds the rest. By midday, she can't hold it any longer and pees. Not in the toilet, she pees all over herself, her panties, the carpet, the floor, or whatever surface she happens to be on at the moment. All in the name of being in control of her own body.

And, I get it. Do I like the fact that she would rather have an accident than admit that she needs to use the restroom? No. Do I like that she is holding her urine inside her body rather than do what I ask her to do? Absolutely not. It worries me on several levels. Her body can't take holding it in and nothing good will come of it if we let this continue.

Last Sunday, for example, we went through 4 pair of panties and two outfits. I was at a loss and I couldn't take it any more. Gracie was getting more and more stubborn by the second. She absolutely would not go to the bathroom and hid in the corner to poop in her panties.

So, I buckled and I put Gracie back into Pull-Ups. For those few hours, I did not have to worry about the couch getting peed on or washing the Fancy Nancy shoes for a fourth time. And for those few hours, I thought constantly about how I had failed Gracie. Yes, failed. I'm the adult and as such, it falls to me to be patient and creative, to teach her how to work through asserting her independence and still being a big girl who uses the toilet. It was a very low day in my history as a Mom and I went to bed that night thinking that I had ruined potty training.

The week has continued to be a struggle, but Gracie and I seem to have come to a truce of sorts. I've discovered that you can't ask her if she needs to got to the bathroom or even ask her if she wants to. She'll always say no. However, there is a way that works and makes both of us happy. She still gets to be independent and I have figured out a creative way to get her to go to the bathroom even when she doesn't want to. You see, I announce that I have to go to the bathroom and I ask Gracie to go with me. I tell her that I would like a friend to go with me and she will hold my hand and walk me there. About 90% of the time, she'll tell me, once we close the door, that she will go first and then I can go. I never ask if she needs to go and never suggest it. Instead, getting her into the room gives her the choice to decide to use the bathroom or not. It has really worked well when we are at home and it worked great at the Zoo today. Whatever distraction I can make that gets her into the room seems to work. A small victory, but one I can appreciate.

By the way, I am totally aware that no one really cares to read about the poop issues of my children. However, this blog is my way of recording our struggles so that one day, when my memories are dim and I can't recall my name, I can point to this recorded history and say, "Here you go, kiddos!"

Oh, and there is one side benefit to all this struggle. My sisters, especially Auntie Ten Ten, have assured me that this whole struggle is really a bonding experience for Gracie and me. The more we struggle, the more Gracie and I are forming a stronger relationship. And they are right! Gracie has been much more affectionate and slightly clingy (clingy in a good way). For example, she wants me to hold her hand when we walk places. She was my Zoo buddy today, holding my hand and telling me that she loves me a lot. She wants to know where I am and what I am doing. At the same time, she is gaining confidence. She believes in herself and knows she is becoming a big girl.

So, we have hit this little snag, but I'm hoping we've made some progress and have some strategies in place for adapting. I'm hanging in there and I hope Gracie can, too.

Let's talk about potty

I've come to the conclusion that I am the reason my daughter is stressed out about the potty.  I am forever after her:
"Gracie, do you have to go potty in the toilet?  Where do you go potty?  Do you go potty on your panties?  No, where do you go potty?"

I stress her out.  There's no doubt about it.  I know this because she had a fantastic day with Abue Rosi.  In fact, Gracie and Lukie had a fantastic potty training day.  They both wore underwear (well, Lukie wore Gracie's pajama bottoms as underwear, but don't tell him that) and ran to the bathroom all by themselves.  When they are with me, they pee on the couch, on the carpet, on their clothes.  It sucks and it makes me want to put a Pull-Up on them.

Add to that my determination to teach my son to pee in the toilet sitting down.  He has horrific aim and I am not interested in scrubbing a toilet free of boy urine.  I'm just not.  I've read several opinions and almost all of them agree that boys need to be taught to pee sitting down.  Why?  Because they forget they need to sit to poop.  Can you imagine him standing to pee only to...OOPS...poop on the floor???  Unfortunately, at Abue Rosi's house, all of the males pee standing up and Lukie wants to be like them.  Personally, I think it is incredibly foul to pee standing up.  There.  I said it.  It's totally disgusting.  I can just see the pee spraying all over.  Yuck!

It isn't really a battle, at least, I don't feel like I am engaged in one.  In the end, it will all work out.  No one goes to kindergarten in diapers. 

But with my luck, Gracie and Luke will be the first.

Without Pictures

Every moment with Gracie and Luke requires a camera.  My camera, however, is often not to be found.  There have been many moments this week I wish I had captured, because they are amazing memories I really do not want to forget.

This week, Gracie started wearing big girl undies at school.  She is incredibly cute in them.  She loves looking at Hello Kitty and friends.  While we are very excited for her, I'm not entirely sure she is ready.  She has been a little stressed out, does not like being asked if she needs to go potty, and will not nap (I think she's afraid to have an accident while she's asleep).  She especially does not like pooping in the toilet.  Frankly, it scares her.  She'd much rather go in a diaper or Pull-Up.  She has been uncharacteristically on edge this week and I'm a bit worried that we are pushing her too soon.  Her teachers seem to think she is definitely ready.  I plan to keep an eye on her this week and make a decision about whether or not to continue.  The last thing I want is for her to be anxious about  wearing panties.

This week also heralded the beginning of my work at Summer School.  There have been many late nights and it has made the smiles, hugs, and "I love yous" all the more wonderful.  I wish I could be at home with them more and I'm hoping things even out soon.  Yesterday, we spent time together, Gracie, Lukie, and I, painting with watercolors.  We painted on paper for quite sometime until Lukie decided he wanted a different canvas.  "Look at me, Mommy!  I painted my toes!"  Sure enough, he had used the black and blue water color paint to paint all 10 of his toes.  He asked me if I wanted my toes painted too, but I declined.  Gracie, however, could not wait for her toes to be painted.  Lukie obliged and the two of them ran around the porch giggling and shouting, "Look at my toes!"  Again, another moment a camera would have been handy!

Then, there was the day my little boy was a very BIG help to his Daddy.  My dresser did not fare well moving from our house to our temporary abode and back.  It was from IKEA and as much as I love them, the dresser was not built to withstand all of that moving.  Daddy had Tio Joey and Tio Freddy move the dresser out to our car port and Thursday, Lukie and Daddy carefully took it apart.  Daddy only had to show Lukie how to use the screwdriver once.  After that, he was a pro.  He disassembled the dresser drawers and actually lifted the wood up into the trashcan all by himself.  When Daddy told me about it, he had such pride in his face.  I thought he would burst with it.  I wish I had video of Lukie lifting those heavy pieces of wood into the trashcan.  He keeps telling me that he is Superman. I suspect this is the only chance I will have to see him in action!

For quite some time now, Gracie and Lukie have been talking up a storm. I have no idea how many words they each can speak, I just know that I can hardly keep up with them.  Gracie loves to tell me stories.  Some of them are memories of things she's lived and others are completely figments of her imagination.  Here's the story she told me the other day on the way to Abue Rosi's house:

"Mommy, I took my puppy for a walk, but he didn't eat the pizza.  I told him: 'No puppy, don't eat that pizza.' and then he walked down the street and we said 'hi' to the giraffe, but he didn't eat the pizza either.  And we saw the chickens and they tried to walk with us and I said: 'No chickens!  No eating the pizza!'  Mommy, those chickens are silly.  They shouldn't eat pizza!  They should eat bread.  Can we get some break for the chickens, Mommy?"

I sat in stunned silence listening to that story.  I had no idea what to make of it, no idea what is from actual experience and what the heck is totally made up.  All I know is that she was very excited about her story and repeated it again.  Another time, my camera would have been helpful.

*Sigh.*

I just wish I could remember to bring it in from the car.

It was inevitable

I knew this day would come. I can't be on top of Gracie and Luke 24 hours a day.

The good news is that it wasn't the toilet.

Let me explain. Gracie and Luke refuse to take a bath anywhere but in the guest bathroom. They like the big tub and the sliding glass doors. The doors help them hide from us and they love that they can splash and be silly without making a mess.

Last week, the tub stopped draining well. In fact, it took over a half hour to drain last night. Daddy thought perhaps a recent poop episode resulted in a clogged drain. The thought makes me gag a little. So, I tried using Liquid Plumber gel last night and nothing. The water refused to drain. So tonight, we went and bought the Foaming Pipe Snake version of Liquid Plumber and, on Daddy's suggestion, a new plunger.

I used the Liquid Plumber as soon as we got Gracie and Lukie into bed. It had to be poured in and left to sit for an hour. When I came back an hour later, I turned on the hottest possible water and waited for the drain to start, well, draining.

Nothing. Nada. The tub continued to fill with water and would not drain. So, I grabbed the plunger and started plumbing. Suddenly, weird colored stuff started floating in the water: some turquoise stuff I did not recognize, discarded elastics from Gracie's hair, and then...
a small green alligator toy. The water started draining a bit. Success!

And then, something else poked up from the drain. As the water drained a bit more, I was able to put my hand down and pull up: a yellow, plastic, toy fork.

Why was there a toy fork in the bathtub? I suspect we'll never know.

I'm going to remain happy it was not the toilet with the alligator and fork inside. For now.