If I told you how many unfinished blog posts I have

I have about 15 unfinished blog posts just waiting for me to share them with the world. Hopefully, I'll finish them soon. In the meantime, Aunt Bec caught these pictures of Gracie and Lukie at Rainforest Cafe as we celebrated Bianca's 7th birthday:

Can you believe these two? I feel like I blinked and they grew up all of a sudden! They don't look like babies (even though their favorite past time is to pretend to be babies) and that makes me sad. They are going to be big kids soon. Waaaa.

Speaking of Big Kids, Bianca as 7 is just something I cannot comprehend. She was 4 when we took this picture:

That tiny little baby is Gracie Lu Who. Do you remember her being that small?

And what about this one at my hospital baby shower:


It just amazes me how quickly time passes.

And the P/Ting hits a snag...

I always knew that Gracie would be the first one to start potty training. When she was 4 months old, she started to hit developmental milestones a few weeks before Lucas. Since then, she seems to do things first and Lukie is a few days or weeks behind.

That the teachers told us she was ready for panties came as a bit of a surprise, but I did not question them. Unfortunately, they spend more time with her than I get to, so they had a better idea of her readiness. Apparently, she has been doing very well at school. She comes home dry and wearing the same panties we sent her in (well, except one day). She does well with Abue Rosi and going to the potty there.

It's using the bathroom at home that is not going well.

Gracie absolutely does not like me reminding her about going to the bathroom. She doesn't want me asking, doesn't want me telling her to go, and certainly will not admit that she needs to go. I'll ask her gently, "Gracie, do you need to go potty in the toilet?" "Gracie, remember, there's a bathroom in this store. Let me know if you need to go and I'll take you!" "Gracie, hold the potty in your vagina until you get to the bathroom." (P.S. I know it isn't in her vagina. It is just easier to explain it to her that way.)

We are engaged in an epic battle: Mommy versus the Independent "I don't need to go potty" Toddler. She'll let me win once or twice a day, when she wants to. Here's the kicker. She lets me win a little. She will get on the toilet sprinkle a bit and announce "I did it!" She'll jump off the toilet and declare herself done. Only, she isn't done. She pees only a little and holds the rest. By midday, she can't hold it any longer and pees. Not in the toilet, she pees all over herself, her panties, the carpet, the floor, or whatever surface she happens to be on at the moment. All in the name of being in control of her own body.

And, I get it. Do I like the fact that she would rather have an accident than admit that she needs to use the restroom? No. Do I like that she is holding her urine inside her body rather than do what I ask her to do? Absolutely not. It worries me on several levels. Her body can't take holding it in and nothing good will come of it if we let this continue.

Last Sunday, for example, we went through 4 pair of panties and two outfits. I was at a loss and I couldn't take it any more. Gracie was getting more and more stubborn by the second. She absolutely would not go to the bathroom and hid in the corner to poop in her panties.

So, I buckled and I put Gracie back into Pull-Ups. For those few hours, I did not have to worry about the couch getting peed on or washing the Fancy Nancy shoes for a fourth time. And for those few hours, I thought constantly about how I had failed Gracie. Yes, failed. I'm the adult and as such, it falls to me to be patient and creative, to teach her how to work through asserting her independence and still being a big girl who uses the toilet. It was a very low day in my history as a Mom and I went to bed that night thinking that I had ruined potty training.

The week has continued to be a struggle, but Gracie and I seem to have come to a truce of sorts. I've discovered that you can't ask her if she needs to got to the bathroom or even ask her if she wants to. She'll always say no. However, there is a way that works and makes both of us happy. She still gets to be independent and I have figured out a creative way to get her to go to the bathroom even when she doesn't want to. You see, I announce that I have to go to the bathroom and I ask Gracie to go with me. I tell her that I would like a friend to go with me and she will hold my hand and walk me there. About 90% of the time, she'll tell me, once we close the door, that she will go first and then I can go. I never ask if she needs to go and never suggest it. Instead, getting her into the room gives her the choice to decide to use the bathroom or not. It has really worked well when we are at home and it worked great at the Zoo today. Whatever distraction I can make that gets her into the room seems to work. A small victory, but one I can appreciate.

By the way, I am totally aware that no one really cares to read about the poop issues of my children. However, this blog is my way of recording our struggles so that one day, when my memories are dim and I can't recall my name, I can point to this recorded history and say, "Here you go, kiddos!"

Oh, and there is one side benefit to all this struggle. My sisters, especially Auntie Ten Ten, have assured me that this whole struggle is really a bonding experience for Gracie and me. The more we struggle, the more Gracie and I are forming a stronger relationship. And they are right! Gracie has been much more affectionate and slightly clingy (clingy in a good way). For example, she wants me to hold her hand when we walk places. She was my Zoo buddy today, holding my hand and telling me that she loves me a lot. She wants to know where I am and what I am doing. At the same time, she is gaining confidence. She believes in herself and knows she is becoming a big girl.

So, we have hit this little snag, but I'm hoping we've made some progress and have some strategies in place for adapting. I'm hanging in there and I hope Gracie can, too.

Let's talk about potty

I've come to the conclusion that I am the reason my daughter is stressed out about the potty.  I am forever after her:
"Gracie, do you have to go potty in the toilet?  Where do you go potty?  Do you go potty on your panties?  No, where do you go potty?"

I stress her out.  There's no doubt about it.  I know this because she had a fantastic day with Abue Rosi.  In fact, Gracie and Lukie had a fantastic potty training day.  They both wore underwear (well, Lukie wore Gracie's pajama bottoms as underwear, but don't tell him that) and ran to the bathroom all by themselves.  When they are with me, they pee on the couch, on the carpet, on their clothes.  It sucks and it makes me want to put a Pull-Up on them.

Add to that my determination to teach my son to pee in the toilet sitting down.  He has horrific aim and I am not interested in scrubbing a toilet free of boy urine.  I'm just not.  I've read several opinions and almost all of them agree that boys need to be taught to pee sitting down.  Why?  Because they forget they need to sit to poop.  Can you imagine him standing to pee only to...OOPS...poop on the floor???  Unfortunately, at Abue Rosi's house, all of the males pee standing up and Lukie wants to be like them.  Personally, I think it is incredibly foul to pee standing up.  There.  I said it.  It's totally disgusting.  I can just see the pee spraying all over.  Yuck!

It isn't really a battle, at least, I don't feel like I am engaged in one.  In the end, it will all work out.  No one goes to kindergarten in diapers. 

But with my luck, Gracie and Luke will be the first.

Without Pictures

Every moment with Gracie and Luke requires a camera.  My camera, however, is often not to be found.  There have been many moments this week I wish I had captured, because they are amazing memories I really do not want to forget.

This week, Gracie started wearing big girl undies at school.  She is incredibly cute in them.  She loves looking at Hello Kitty and friends.  While we are very excited for her, I'm not entirely sure she is ready.  She has been a little stressed out, does not like being asked if she needs to go potty, and will not nap (I think she's afraid to have an accident while she's asleep).  She especially does not like pooping in the toilet.  Frankly, it scares her.  She'd much rather go in a diaper or Pull-Up.  She has been uncharacteristically on edge this week and I'm a bit worried that we are pushing her too soon.  Her teachers seem to think she is definitely ready.  I plan to keep an eye on her this week and make a decision about whether or not to continue.  The last thing I want is for her to be anxious about  wearing panties.

This week also heralded the beginning of my work at Summer School.  There have been many late nights and it has made the smiles, hugs, and "I love yous" all the more wonderful.  I wish I could be at home with them more and I'm hoping things even out soon.  Yesterday, we spent time together, Gracie, Lukie, and I, painting with watercolors.  We painted on paper for quite sometime until Lukie decided he wanted a different canvas.  "Look at me, Mommy!  I painted my toes!"  Sure enough, he had used the black and blue water color paint to paint all 10 of his toes.  He asked me if I wanted my toes painted too, but I declined.  Gracie, however, could not wait for her toes to be painted.  Lukie obliged and the two of them ran around the porch giggling and shouting, "Look at my toes!"  Again, another moment a camera would have been handy!

Then, there was the day my little boy was a very BIG help to his Daddy.  My dresser did not fare well moving from our house to our temporary abode and back.  It was from IKEA and as much as I love them, the dresser was not built to withstand all of that moving.  Daddy had Tio Joey and Tio Freddy move the dresser out to our car port and Thursday, Lukie and Daddy carefully took it apart.  Daddy only had to show Lukie how to use the screwdriver once.  After that, he was a pro.  He disassembled the dresser drawers and actually lifted the wood up into the trashcan all by himself.  When Daddy told me about it, he had such pride in his face.  I thought he would burst with it.  I wish I had video of Lukie lifting those heavy pieces of wood into the trashcan.  He keeps telling me that he is Superman. I suspect this is the only chance I will have to see him in action!

For quite some time now, Gracie and Lukie have been talking up a storm. I have no idea how many words they each can speak, I just know that I can hardly keep up with them.  Gracie loves to tell me stories.  Some of them are memories of things she's lived and others are completely figments of her imagination.  Here's the story she told me the other day on the way to Abue Rosi's house:

"Mommy, I took my puppy for a walk, but he didn't eat the pizza.  I told him: 'No puppy, don't eat that pizza.' and then he walked down the street and we said 'hi' to the giraffe, but he didn't eat the pizza either.  And we saw the chickens and they tried to walk with us and I said: 'No chickens!  No eating the pizza!'  Mommy, those chickens are silly.  They shouldn't eat pizza!  They should eat bread.  Can we get some break for the chickens, Mommy?"

I sat in stunned silence listening to that story.  I had no idea what to make of it, no idea what is from actual experience and what the heck is totally made up.  All I know is that she was very excited about her story and repeated it again.  Another time, my camera would have been helpful.

*Sigh.*

I just wish I could remember to bring it in from the car.

It was inevitable

I knew this day would come. I can't be on top of Gracie and Luke 24 hours a day.

The good news is that it wasn't the toilet.

Let me explain. Gracie and Luke refuse to take a bath anywhere but in the guest bathroom. They like the big tub and the sliding glass doors. The doors help them hide from us and they love that they can splash and be silly without making a mess.

Last week, the tub stopped draining well. In fact, it took over a half hour to drain last night. Daddy thought perhaps a recent poop episode resulted in a clogged drain. The thought makes me gag a little. So, I tried using Liquid Plumber gel last night and nothing. The water refused to drain. So tonight, we went and bought the Foaming Pipe Snake version of Liquid Plumber and, on Daddy's suggestion, a new plunger.

I used the Liquid Plumber as soon as we got Gracie and Lukie into bed. It had to be poured in and left to sit for an hour. When I came back an hour later, I turned on the hottest possible water and waited for the drain to start, well, draining.

Nothing. Nada. The tub continued to fill with water and would not drain. So, I grabbed the plunger and started plumbing. Suddenly, weird colored stuff started floating in the water: some turquoise stuff I did not recognize, discarded elastics from Gracie's hair, and then...
a small green alligator toy. The water started draining a bit. Success!

And then, something else poked up from the drain. As the water drained a bit more, I was able to put my hand down and pull up: a yellow, plastic, toy fork.

Why was there a toy fork in the bathtub? I suspect we'll never know.

I'm going to remain happy it was not the toilet with the alligator and fork inside. For now.

Rockin' "La Bamba!"

Abue Rosi recently traveled to Mexico to celebrate Abuelita's 90th birthday.  She brought back lots of stories of her visit and, for Gracie and Luke, some surprises!  Their favorite new toys are tiny guitars that Tio Martin and Abue Juve are trying to teach them to play.

While I don't have video of them singing their new repertoire of songs, La Bamba is their best so far.
Anyone want to hire my little cantantes?

Pajamas and rain boots optional.

Words to Melt Your Heart

Words are amazingly powerful. Some words have been spoken to me that have never left my memory. Good or bad, they have left a mark.

Even though they are only 2 and a half, Gracie and Luke have already learned the power of words. They have learned how to ask for what they want, tell each other (and us) when they are not happy, and how to tell a story. Many of their words are spoken and taken for granted. I don't remember my conversations with Gracie and Lukie in the car yesterday, but I most certainly remember the first time each of them told me that they loved me. Each time they tell me they want a kiss and a hug or they say, "My Mommy!" my heart simply melts.

Last night was one of those kinds of nights. We had a long day yesterday and Gracie and Luke had a hard time waking up after our drive home. After lots of cuddles and drying of tears, they each got a few of their favorite toys from their room and came to sit down with us. Lukie and I cuddled in the rocking chair while Gracie say with her Daddy on the sofa wearing her princess crown, a sparkly necklace, jammies, and her Snow White high heeled shoes. Diego was playing on the television and when the music started at the end, Gracie stood up, put her arms out and said, "Dance with me Daddy!" I watched the emotions play across Daddy's face. It was clear that this was one of those times that four simple words would be etched in his memory. He held Gracie's hands and they danced on the sofa, all the while, tears glistened in Daddy's eyes.

Gracie's words, spoken so sweetly, were powerful and cemented a bond between Daddy and daughter. Darn it, they simply melted our hearts!

The Bee Sting

Two weeks ago, Gracie got stung by a bee.

For the third time in her life.

She's 2 years and 8 months old.

I, on the other hand, have never been stung by a bee. *knock on wood!*

She was pretty traumatized by the bee sting and while I remembered to get the stinger out and give her Benedryl and Motrin, I forgot to do the baking soda paste on the sting. Thus, all of the venom was left in her arm.

By the following morning, her arm looked like this:


It stayed like that until Wednesday. It was pretty scary for me. Gracie just hated it because it hurt. We are practicing a new line for bees when we are in the yard or the park:

"NO BEE! GO AWAY, BEE!"

Do you think that will work?

Bouncies are fun

Terrified of Bath/Bed/Sleep

When you are a child, there is nothing worse than being kept from the action.

Mommy's in the kitchen making dinner? You want to see what she is doing.
Daddy is washing the car outside? You want to be in the suds helping him to clean.
Mommy's using the computer to distract herself from Dora and Diego on the television? You'd much rather be sitting on her lap pushing the buttons and destroying the operating system.

Bed time is like that. Mommy and Daddy take the little ones in their room snuggle them into bed and head on out. If you are 2 (or 2 and a half), you have to think that Daddy and Mommy must be swinging by the chandeliers or something! Heck, it has to be better than lying in bed with the lights off. (Quick aside: this book is great!)

Lately, Lukie has been really fighting bed time. He knows the order of our evening: dinner, bath, books, bed. The minute dinner starts, he begins making his feelings about bed known.

Lukie: Mommy, I don wanna go to bed.
Me: I hear you kid! Nobody likes to go to bed. But Mr. Sunshine is getting ready to go to bed and you need to get some sleep.
Lukie: No! Mr. Sunshine stays awake.
Me: Sorry, buddy, Mr. Sunshine needs his rest too.
Lukie: I don wanna go to bed! (crying, kicking, mayhem ensue)

The sad part is that this is usually 2 hours before we put them to sleep. He gets anxious and cranky, true signs that he does need his sleep. The tears are spontaneous and, for a while, I thought they were fake. Lukie is a great fake crier and I was sure that his nighttime tears were just that: fake.

But they haven't been. His tears, and the fear he has, are real. I don't know where they are coming from, but they are definitely real. It's hard for me to say that my son is afraid of things. He's such a tough guy and a "manly man" (go ahead and ask him!). However, there is something about night time that terrifies him. He thinks there are spiders in his bed, monsters coming through the window, and goodness knows what else waiting to snatch him. It has gotten so bad, that I've put the kabash on any teasing at night time. Daddy likes to tease Gracie and Lukie that he is going to get them or that the grasshopper outside will get them and, frankly, that is just making the situation worse.

It isn't that I want to keep Lukie in a bubble of nothing-will-hurt-yous. That's just silly. But there is definite terror in Lukie's tears and that worry/concern/anxiety needs to be addressed. No mother likes to see their children frightened. Especially when they are little.

Off to slay some monsters!

Snuggles and Cuddles

Gracie and Luke have never been cuddlers. When they were newborns, they would do that whole snuggle-with-their-booties-in-the-air thing for a little while, but they wanted to be laying sideways or on a bed. I kept waiting for babies who would crawl up into my lap and snuggle with me, but Gracie and Luke are busy. They have places to go and things to do. Snuggling with Mommy and Daddy has never been too high on their to do lists.

But recently, things have been changing. I wish I could pin point the cause, but rather than analyze it, I think I am just going to enjoy it. Many times over the last few weeks, my non-cuddlers have wanted to snuggle. Whether it is to sit on my lap, snuggle in the rocker, or give tight hugs, Gracie and Luke want to be near us. Snuggling and cuddling have finally led to my favorite thing in the world: Twinsies who fall asleep on their Mommy. I thought it would never happen, but finally, they seem to trust us enough to fall asleep on us.
And, let me tell you, this is bliss.

I love the snuggles and cuddles and "I love you, Mommy" whispers. Total and utter bliss.

So after a day when they have broken every crayon, colored on the windows and hardwood floors, hit me, hit each other, refused to eat and run out into the street, a snuggle or a cuddle makes it all better. Those "now" moments really know how to erase all the bad in the day.

Thank goodness.