A Public Thank You to Daddy

Today, I woke up to the sound of pounding on a door and "Momma! Mommmmmmy!" Well, that isn't entirely true. Daddy shoved me first and said, "The babies are awake." Then, I heard the pounding of the door and my name being called. So, I dragged myself out of bed and opened their door. They almost tackled me in their excitement about escaping.

The first five minutes with Gracie and Luke are among my favorite moments all day. They are blissfully happy to see us, as if the time they were sleeping was a million years and they couldn't stand the time apart. Smiles, hugs, laughter. It's a wonderful five minutes.

And then someone hits the other one and our day truly begins.

As evidenced by yesterday's post, I am very close to the edge emotionally. I've never been good at accepting my faults and since I am my own worst critic, my faults have been many lately. This morning, after milk was thrown at the floor one too many times and Lucas managed to find my bottle of antibacterial lotion, open it, and dump it all over himself, the living room floor and the kitchen (somehow missing the carpet between the two rooms), I told Daddy I needed him to get out of bed and help me or I was going to lose it.

Now, I don't think I really would have lost it, but he's seen me getting closer and closer to a marathon cry over the past few days. I have been feeling more and more anxious, depressed and, generally, unhappy. It's just sad that I feel like this when I am so BLESSED to have my beautiful Twinsies.

When Daddy realized that I was at a critical point, he arranged for Lukie to hang out at Grandma and Grandpa's house and he took Gracie with him to his doctor's appointment. He did not say when he would be back. I figured they would be gone for only a few hours. So, I rushed to put Gracie and Luke's new table together, wash some clothes, do some dishes, and fix the front yard a bit. Before I knew it, it was noon and there was no sign of Daddy and the Twinsies. I actually watched All My Children and called Nana because I could not believe they were doing a story line where a baby boy is being dressed as a girl to keep him hidden from his real dad. I can only imagine the story lines to come for Baby Trevor!

Hours continued to pass and no call from Daddy, no sign of the van. So, I cleaned out my purse, paid some bills, and did a few other things around the house. I have to admit that while I was keeping an eye out for my family, I was enjoying my time puttering around the house. Who knew housework could make you so happy!

Finally, around 3 pm, Daddy pulled into the driveway. Gracie was awake, minus a shoe, and Lukie was passed out with his mouth hanging open. Gracie and I went inside and Daddy offered to go get me some lunch so that Lukie would sleep longer. When they got back, I attempted to put Lukie in his room so that he could sleep more, but it didn't work. As soon as he realized I was holding him, he would not let me go.

I'm not going to write about the hours since Daddy left to go to dialysis. They were hard and there were a few moments that I had to do some deep breathing exercises. But, there were also some lovely and fun moments involving spray bottles, the new Twinsie Table and a warm afternoon.

So, Thank You, Daddy! Thank you for my few hours to recharge my batteries and have a breather. It was a lovely gift and I really needed it!